Five horrible TV theme song lyrics
I was reading Brad’s post about bad superhero shows, and the site he linked to picked the Cathy Lee Crosby version of Wonder Woman, which I think is silly. It was much better than the Lynda Carter version and was smart enough to use an instrumental theme song, not one with lyrics. When you try to put lyrics to a superhero show theme song, the results are usually very bad.
Here are my choices for five horrible lyrics from TV theme songs. I’m not saying these are the worst. Maybe this could be a regular feature. There are so many to choose from, but these really stand out. (I did a similar post a couple of years ago, but it was strictly bizarre lyrics, not necessarily “bad” ones. The list needs to be updated, especially since I didn’t include the number one choice.)
1. “In your satin tights/Fighting for your rights.” (Wonder Woman). Yeah, Lynda Carter was hot and everything, but there’s no excusing this abomination of a lyric. I mean, it’s beyond camp, and makes me think that whoever thought of it was trying to think of something to rhyme with “rights” (since Wonder Woman was a patriotic heroine) and said to himself, “hey, she wears tights! And it rhymes!” The whole line is “In your satin tights/fighting for your rights/and the old red, white, and bluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-uuuuuuuuuuuuuue! Get us out from under/Wonder Woman!”
It was close, picking this line. I could have picked “Make a hawk a dove/stop a war with love/make a liar tell the truth!”
2. “I want/I want/I want Charles in Charge of me.” (Charles in Charge). Jesus. This is one of the more creepy TV theme songs, with a girl singing about how “there’s a new boy in the neighborhood” and he’s “in charge of our days and our nights” and “that other girl totally lied when she said he attacked her.” OK, that last line isn’t in the song, but it very well could have been. Hey, Scott Baio factors in two of these five picks! I haven’t heard the theme song to his reality show.
3. “She’s fantastic/Made of plastic/Microchips here and there/She’s a small wonder/Brings love and laughter everywhere.” (Small Wonder). OK, so she’s a little girl robot, and the songwriter must have thought…microchips! She must have microchips, right? And they’re everywhere! This show is on the worst list of many people, and every time I see the opening below I think it looks like a satire of a TV show opening and theme song.
4. “You look at me/And suddenly I’m captured in your eyes.” (Joanie Loves Chachi). Hey, from strictly a physical standpoint, you can’t argue with that line. When a person looks at another person, they are indeed captured in their eyes. So I’ll give the song credit for being scientifically accurate. But my God, the line is like something out of a bad romance novel (or the American Idol songwriting contest). Take a look at the opening below (it starts around 5:40). It’s truly one of the worst openings ever, more suitable for a beauty pageant or maybe a tampon commercial.
5. “Is he strong?/Listen, bud/He’s got radioactive blood.” (Spider-Man). They had to get the “radioactive blood” part in there, so they went with “bud?” OK, it was the ’60s, but still. The lyrics also say that to Spider-Man, “life is a great big bang up.” What exactly does this mean?
The Incredible Hulk Movie Trailer #2
It all comes down to this new trailer for The Incredible Hulk, with the Marvel reboot’s release on June 13th fast approaching and its positioning as the caboose of summer superhero flicks pretty much a lock as far as expectations and buzz go. This second trailer is far more well-rounded than the first in my opinion, which mounted everything on the Hulk’s rather predictable-looking end battle with Abomination. Moreover, there is a nice amount of fresh and promising footage with the Hulk and with Edward Norton here, the latter of which has an agreeably slick general blockbuster Bourne-like feel to it.
We also get more Liv Tyler in various states of pouting duress and awe, which somehow makes it more interesting. And the Hulk’s new intro satisfactorily plays up the character’s proportion to his surroundings and is well-lit, which nicely contrasts with the dimness and grimness of trailers The Dark Knight and Hellboy 2. Overthinking much? Mebbs. However, are shots of the Hulk smashing cars and helicopters enough to push its grosses past Ang Lee’s flick? And I still can’t decide whether the Hulk still looks “fake” as so many fanboys like to shake their fists to.
You can also watch the trailer in High Definition on Apple.com. The Incredible Hulk hits theaters on June 13th.
The Incredible Hulk Movie Trailer
FINALLY!! After months and months of waiting, Universal has released a movie trailer for The Incredible Hulk reboot/sequel.
Whatever company cut this trailer deserves a bonus. I love how you could have no idea this is an Incredible Hulk movie until the last 30 seconds. And the prolonged suspense of seeing the first reveal of the big green guy was handled masterfully. I don’t think he looks much different than the Ang Lee version, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Many feel that Ang Lee’s film failed due to the lack of action and over dramatized plot (oh yeah, and the unfinished special effects superbowl incident). I’m not too impressed by Abomination however, and I’m not sure if they story will be a-level quality we expect from Marvel (especially from all the script reviews I have read). But it definitely sounds like this film will address all the concerns raised by Lee’s failed effort. Watch the trailer, and tell me what you think in the comments below.
You can also watch the trailer in High Definition on MTV. Louis Leterrier’s The Incredible Hulk starring Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, Tim Roth and William Hurt smashes its way into theaters on June 13th 2008.
Discuss: What do you think of The Incredible Hulk movie trailer?
The Incredible Hulk Trailer Description
In a report from Toy Fair Germany, an AICN scooper named Mark Single claims to have seen what he believes to be the first trailer for Universal’s The Incredible Hulk prequel/reboot. Here is the description:
“It was great to see the first footage of the INCREDIBLE HULK. I think the Ang Lee movie was terrible, but I have a lot of faith in this one.
“[It] opens with Edward Norton meditating. We see images of a lab, experiments, Banner escaping from the (Russian?) military (led by William Hurt and Tim Roth), running in the streets, kissing Liv Tyler, guns, shooting, more running… The ‘trailer’ ends with Abomination walking towards Hulk. Remember the end of Rocky III? Apollo Creed wants to hit Rocky in their friendly duel? That’s exactly the way the trailer ends. Abomination wants to hit Hulk. Hulk wants to hit Abomination, but before it actually happens the trailer is over. Abomination looks like a Hulk with the Voldemort face from the first Harry Potter movie. A really mean motha. He sure is a great opponent. I thought the shown footage was awesome. It promises much more action than the Ang Lee movie, a great love story and an even greater fight. Edward Norton makes a great Bruce Banner. He isn’t that muscular which makes his transformation into Hulk much more interesting and exciting. Imagine John Cena as Bruce Banner! That would be completely wrong, wouldn’t it?”
The big complaint about Ang Lee’s Hulk (aside from some of the early CG) was the lack of action. I mean, what was with that dog fight anyways? This new trailer seems to tackle that conception head on, saying to fans “This time it will be different.” And I love the idea of that. However, in a day and age when secrets are slowly released through officially filtered channels, I’m surprised they would give away both The Hulk and Abomination in the first trailer. But hey, like I said, maybe that’s they need to in order to convey this new movie more action message.