Quote: George Romero Says Zombies Can’t Run
Legendary horror filmmaker George Romero (Night of the Living Dead) insists that Zombies can’t run.
“The dead can’t run. Their ankles would break. It doesn’t make sense to me,” Romero told NWA. “The dead move slowly. But they keep coming.”
Question of the Day: Should Zombies be able to run?
TV Press Tour '07: Just a Little Dance Fever
Hey, guys, Jen here. Wanted to give you guys a report from the panel for So You Think You Can Dance, which I adore and may just be the best summer reality show short of Project Runway.
We were treated to Danny Tidwell spinning and shirtless, as well as Sara VonGillern and Pasha Kovalev performing their famed West Coast swing. The whole gang was there, including all of the top 10 dancers, plus Nigel, Dan, Shane, Mia, Mary and Cat.
Here are a few highlights:
Tap On, Tap Off: According to Nigel, the show is open to showcasing any dance style that could reasonably be taught and/or learned in five and a half hours. He says that gives them a world of options with just a couple of exceptions: “The things that are really difficult to do are tap, because it just takes so long to get the ankles right…[and] the heavily classical stuff, because we’re just not going to get the technique.”
YouTube Boogie: According to competitor Dominic “D-Trix” Sandoval, the dancers have been known to prepare for unfamiliar dances by checking out existing routines on YouTube. He and partner Sabra Johnson watch the clips and study up and then “I kind of just throw my heart on the floor and do the best I can.”
Sibling Revelry: Someone asked Lacey Schwimmer about reigning champ and big bro Benji and how it might affect her place in the competition. She replied, “I’m not here to win, I’m only here to have the experience portion of it. I try not to compare myself to him, because I‘m not him. I love him dearly, and I think he‘s very talented. But you know, I‘m here to grow and find who I am.” Maybe it's just me, but after she said that I thought I saw executive producer Nigel Lythgoe and choreographer Dan Karaty give each other a look. Hmmm…
B Does Not Stand for Bad: One reporter, who defended himself with "No offense, I'm old," announced that "I always thought that [a] B-girl was a hooker." Sara set him right and defended the honor of fellow B-girls everywhere, and told him that the B stands for "Break girl or Bronx, beat. Breaking came from the Bronx."
Quote of the Moment: “I think talent is sexy.”
—Choreographer Mia Michaels, when asked what makes dance so sexy
The CSI/Two and a Half Men writer switcheroo — loved it!
The CSI/Two and a Half Men writers switch was a very clever promotion for CBS. Fortunately, the writers saw the opportunity to change places as more than just a publicity stunt. They really took the scripting seriously and came up with inventive episodes for each program. If this were a competition to see which team would deliver the better show, who would take on the task of writing winning TV in a genre not their own and succeed beyond expectations, the comedy scribes take the gold. Chuck Lorre and Lee Aronsohn’s CSI was pure genius, and if it were up to me, CSI should submit it for an Emmy.
But first there was Two and a Half Men. In an episode called “Fish in a Drawer” (and if somebody could explain what that title means, I’d be most appreciative), the story picked up after Evelyn married Teddy. In the teleplay by CSI regular writers Evan Dunsky and Sarah Goldfinger, Charlie and Courtney check out of the reception for a little romp in his room upstairs only to find Teddy’s dead bod on the bed. Talk about spoiling the mood. Teddy wasn’t only a corpse, he was a corpse with his pants pulled down around his ankles and lipstick stains on his hoo-ha. The cops were called in, a detective who was a dead ringer for Marg Helgenberger — played by redhead Jamie Rose — had the vaguely Bondian name of Jagov, Sloane Jagov. Naturally, Charlie had to make a move on her. He couldn’t keep his eyes off her cleavage.
The usual suspects, i.e. everyone on the show, were questioned, and before that was probably the funniest gag in the whole show. In typical CSI fashion, they checked the crime scene for semen by spraying with some chemical then turning off the lights. Of course, Charlie’s room lit up like a beacon. He laughed as he saw traces of his emissions on the ceiling fan!
While most of the Two and a Half Men was funny — not rip-roaring, but still good — the actual plot was disappointing because it was tipped off in the previous show. Teddy and Courtney were con artists, not father and daughter. Aside for the lights out, the other major CSI shtick employed by director Jeff Melman Jamie Rose was following the food as it was ingested by Jake, down his gullet and into his stomach and intentines. All in all, I liked the “Fish in a Drawer,” but I wasn’t blown away.
I was blown away by “Two and a Half Deaths,” the CSI written by Lorre and Aronsohn. To say that the show was an act of revenge by Mr. Lorre on some female sitcom stars that have vexed him in the past (Cybill and Roseanne, can you hear me?) is an understatement. Lorre eviscerated the proxy Cybill/Roseanne — called Annabelle, just like the show in which she stars a la Ms. Shepherd and Ms. Arnold, respectively — who is the murder victim. She’s an emasculating horror, with surgically enhanced boobs and butt cheeks, an ex-driver/coke head boyfriend from Iowa whom she’s promoted to co-executive producer (visions of Tom Arnold come into view) and raging insecurities to cover an over-inflated ego. She’s a nightmare, cunningly brought to life by Katey Sagal.
The Lorre/Aronsohn script is dripping with inside gags:
– When filming the casino scene, Annabelle is jealous of her co-star getting the funnier lines. She demands they be switched. Wasn’t that Cybill Shepherd’s problem with Christine Baranski (who stole every scene) on Cybill? The co-star is named Megan Kupowski. Baranski/Kupowski, get it?
– Grissom investigates the body and finds a rubber chicken shoved down Annabelle’s throat. He then says the classic show business line, “Dying is easy, comedy is hard.”
– At the studio in L.A., Grissom and Brass are on a golf cart to the set, passing Charlie Sheen, Jon Cryer and Angus T. Jones outside their trailers. Angus is smoking a cigar. Then Gil shoots the remains of a plane crash on the backlot — a tip of the cap to Lost, which has been CSI’s competition on Thursday nights at 9 o’clock most of the year.
– To explain some plot in between acts, the writers used clips on Extra. In one, Megan appears on the red carpet with her dog, Binky, for a cause called Canine Thrombosis Foundation (for dogs with heart conditions). Later in the show, the medication for the dog turned out to be what killed Annabelle.
– Grissom wonders how Annabelle’s character on the sitcom can drive a Ferrari when she’s supposed to be a financially strapped single mom. Brass tells him that she won the car on a radio show, and that was when the show “jumped the shark.” Grissom not only doesn’t know what the term means, he doesn’t know who the Fonz was despite Brass trying to jog his memory.
– In Annabelle’s office, Gil picks up the numerous Emmy awards. Bud (Diedrich Bader) tells him to be careful with that. Gil asks what it is and learns it’s an Emmy. “Is that what this is?” he asks with wonder, a reference to CSI never getting any Emmy love.
– One of the suspects is an actor who was ticked off that his recurring role never came to pass. His butt-crack scene was an homage to Dan Ackroyd’s classic Saturday Night Live sketch about the refrigerator repair man.
– The wrap-up has Brass and Grissom confronting Megan, the supporting actress on the sitcom, played by Rachel Harris, telling her how she set up the murder. She agrees with their theory, but reminds them they have no evidence, unless they are waiting for the third act like they do on TV procedurals to reveal some smoking gun or get her so rattled that she’ll confess. It’s the latter, naturally. They have nothing.
– In the first scene, Annabelle yells at the creator/head writer, played by Stephen Tobolowsky (Lorre’s alter ego), telling him, “Don’t argue with me. Just make me funny. And lovable!” In the end, he has the last laugh. He and Megan are in cahoots (isn’t that a great word?). He explains that they have a new gig, a 13-week commitment from CBS for a sitcom to take Annabelle’s place. Monday nights at 9:30, 8:30 Central Time. Tune in.
Bravo to both CSI and Two and a Half Men, with special kudos to Lorre and Aronsohn. This worked so well, I’d love to see them make it an annual tradition.
Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt’s Day at the Derby
Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt’s Day at the Derby
Reality co-star couple Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were on hand in the bluegrass state, as the duo attended the 134th running of the Kentucky Derby on Saturday (May 3).
Held at the famed Churchill Downs track, the stars of The Hills gladly posed for photographers upon arrival, with Heidi wearing a strapless, multi-colored floral print dress with a pink Kentucky Derby hat and Spencer sticking with a seasonable suit and tie.
During the race, the peroxide blonde pair cheered on as Big Brown validated himself as a super horse Saturday by winning the granddaddy of all equestrian races.
On a sad note, the event had a tragic end - “as filly Eight Belles, who finished second, had to be euthanized on the track after collapsing and breaking both front ankles.”