The Mole: Episode 5
Nicole said something interesting tonight, right at the top of the show. “Why is that everyone I pick as the Mole gets executed and I don’t?” That’s a good question, because you would think that if Nicole is truly concentrating on one person every time she takes the quiz that she would have been eliminated by now. Maybe she’s The Mole! Of course, we can make that case for every single one of the remaining contestants at one point or another. Well, except for the one that was executed tonight, the player that a lot of viewers picked because this person was rather quiet and flew under the radar. Just goes to show you that you really can’t predict who’s going to get kicked off the show.
Something hit me tonight as I watched Paul do a nutty again on Clay and Mark over-react (overact?) about a challenge: one of these people is putting on a show. So maybe Paul’s intense jerk act is just that, an act, and he’s a helluva guy. Maybe Mark’s immature drama is an act and he’s really a cool person. Maybe Nicole’s arrogance and scheming is just an act and she’s really your average, nice girl. But think of this: only one person left on the show can be the Mole, so the other personalities we’re seeing are the real thing. Yikes.
In the two challenges tonight, I think a lot of the players were completely illogical. In the first, everyone is ticked at Mark because they think he took the exemption instead of the key. But why would they be so pissed at him? I mean, he was the last person left at the prison, so why wouldn’t he take the exemption? Hell, even Paul was tempted and he left a lot earlier (as it turns out, Mark didn’t take the exemption, though if he’s the Mole it’s a smart move). In the second, everyone is mad that Craig took the exemption after he got one by sheer luck, saying the word “exemption” first (of course, maybe it wasn’t luck, maybe he said it on purpose because he’s the Mole - then again, maybe the show made up the whole “first one to say exemption” thing, it really could have been any word they thought of after the fact). What, they wouldn’t have taken the exemption if given the chance?
And I’m so tired of these complaints about challenges (the “Travelers” challenge - too bad Traveler isn’t on anymore, we could have had a crossover episode). Everyone thinks it’s not worth it to be “humiliated” by wearing a llama costume or wearing stilts or riding a unicycle? Why the hell did the even sign up for this game? Mark really pushed this. You know what? I actually believe Craig when he says that even though he took the exemption he picked those things because he thought it would be fun. I think Craig is the guy I’d like to hang out with in real life, Mole or not.
I’m not sure what we’re supposed to think about another tie in the quiz. Only one second separates two players? The one executed tonight is Kristin, who seemed nice and was quiet (hey, turns out she probably really is!). All of the most controversial players - Mark, Paul, Nicole - are still around, along with the still-sick Craig (?), religious lawyer Clay (and no, Paul, those things aren’t contradictory), and musician Alex, who was the only one who really seemed to want to dress in a funny outfit tonight.
Next week: highlights from the season so far, but a new episode too.
Some observations/questions:
- Is there some significance with that damn lemon pet that Paul carries around? It will be fun to see the clues that the show laid out for us when the show is over.
- Some of the questions on the quiz are so specific that if you’re not the Mole and you concentrate on one person and they aren’t the Mole, you’re screwed. For example, a question tonight asked if the Mole used a sleeping bag in the prison challenge. Only one person had a sleeping bag and that was Clay.
- During his argument, Paul said “My whole life is a hypocrite.” Wow.
- The Mole is keeping a journal at over abc.com. I haven’t checked it for clues yet.
Three terrible news anchors
Doing the news can’t be easy. It’s a lot more than just reading the teleprompter, especially when you do it live. The really good anchors make it look easy and the merely competent ones make it look hard (but you feel for them). It’s the really bad ones that make you cringe and throw something at the TV (or change the channel). Not only are they incompetent when it comes to skills, they have an off-putting air about them. At best they are anchors who should be reporters and not sit in an anchor chair.
I’ve picked the three very worst ones I can find on TV right now. And just so we’re clear, I’m talking about news people who read the news or anchor. So you won’t see show hosts like Nancy Grace or Bill O’Reilly here. And I’m concentrating on national anchors, not local ones. There’s not enough space on the web to do one on local anchors. Though I’d love to do one on Boston anchors some day.
1. Rick Sanchez (CNN): Do I really have to explain why he’s #1? OK…
Formerly of MSNBC, Sanchez’s claim to fame is the time he got tasered by the police to see what it was like (the video was mocked endlessly on The Daily Show). But beyond mocking Sanchez for the ridiculous stories he does and the way that he does them (a mixture of arrogance and cluelessness), the guy is an irritation when it comes to his voice too. It’s one of those faux, booming, “I’m an announcer! Three people have just died in a horrific accident in Los Angeles, and you just heard “Karma Chameleon” by Culture Club. Coming up next…” type of voices. But he’s casual too! You can tell by the way he sits on the edge of a console or leans back in his chair. The casual guy with the evil demeanor. You want really bad things to happen to Sanchez, like a tax audit or explosive diarrhea. He’s the guy who makes you realize, yes, Ted Baxters really do exist. When Sanchez is on, I change the channel immediately, even if the only other thing on is a Supernanny rerun.
2. Ann Curry (NBC): Curry never met a sentence she couldn’t stumble over. She seems to favor reading the news really rapidly, as if that gives her segments more gravitas, that there are so many stories to cover, but don’t worry fans, I’m here to cover them all! She seems to jump three words ahead from what the teleprompter says. Then there’s the “banter” she tries with Matt and Meredith and Al. Banter as in “I’m going to say something really inappropriate right now.” She often has a pained expression on her face, as if she doesn’t know what question to ask next but if she looks really serious (which often involves putting her hand on her chin) she’ll appear to be a “journalist.”
3. Tony Harris (CNN): Also known as “the guy who looks off into space,” because whenever he is doing the news, he seems to look off to the side, pausing, as if looking into a monitor. Though I think that’s just his “style.” He looks off to the side to show he’s “thinking.” The pacing of his words, his tone, his inflection…it’s a really odd mixture of boredom and intense, over the top questions.
I’m sure there are more. Who do you think is a terrible news anchor? Who makes you shake your head and/or change the channel?
(Coming later this week, a list of great anchors.)
The Wire: React Quotes
(S05E05) “Just ’cause they’re in the street doesn’t mean that they lack opinions.” - Haynes
I hate Scott Templeton. Or should I say M. Scott Templeton? Did you see that on the newspaper article he co-wrote with Alma? He added a pointless first initial to his name! Nowhere in his bio on The Wire website does it say anything about a first name that starts with M. This very well could be a pointless detail, but on this show those types of things rarely occur. It’s just another reason that Templeton is a giant ass. He’s really no better a man than McNulty when you consider what he’s doing. The difference is that Scott has this air of arrogance about him, as if he feels as though he’s meant for great things. Yeah right. He’s lazy and has no work ethic whatsoever. And he wonders why Gus continually passes him over and gives him tons of grunt work. Imagine how Gus will look at him when the truth does come out. That being said, I loved how this episode played out. One bullshitter versus another. That always leads to a good story.
It’s probably one of the best scenes in the five season run of this show. Scott lies. McNulty’s eyes bulge. Then McNulty lies. Scott’s eyes bulge. They both know (or at least think) the other guy is full of it (sort of… I’ll get to that) but can’t say a thing about it. It was brilliant watching the two of them react, realizing that their lies are growing into something far bigger than imagined. Obviously, neither of them got a call from the “serial killer” but only they know that individually.
Here’s where it gets interesting though. McNulty knows without a doubt that Scott is lying. On the other hand, Scott doesn’t know for sure that McNulty is lying. Everyone except Bunk, McNulty, and Lester think this “serial killer” is real. When McNulty said he got a call too, Scott was worried that the “real killer” would discredit his “fake killer.” (Honestly, typing this up right now is comical. I feel the need to put parentheses around everything I write because nothing is “real” here.)
So Scott spins his story, McNulty confirms all of it and voila - Jimmy spins it into the wire-tap that he and Lester need. You didn’t think the final season of The Wire would go without one of those, did you? Anyway, I’ll come back to this. More to talk about first.
Let’s start with Dukie. He’s got smarts, just not street smarts. Remember how addicted he was to the computer in Prez’s classroom? While I took great pleasure in seeing Dukie beat tiny Kenard into the sidewalk, seeing Spider take out Dukie was hard to watch. He’s a nice kid and clearly has a bright future if he plays his cards right. I’m not sure what to think though. First he makes the effort to train a little with Cutty and get some life advice (Sidebar: The moment when Cutty and Michael locked eyes was great. Michael could never trust Cutty personally, but by bringing Dukie to him, it was definitely a sign of respect and Cutty recognized that.) and the next day he was getting gun lessons from Michael. I really don’t know what sort of outcome is in store for Dukie yet. I’d like to think that he’ll actually get out, but I’m not sure he’s strong enough to make such a commitment.
My one worry for Dukie? Omar knows who Michael is now. He knows he rolls with Chris and Snoop and I hope he doesn’t go after Michael’s corner when Dukie is around. That’d be a shame. Speaking of Omar…umm, what the hell?!? He jumped off a third or fourth floor balcony during that ambush/shoot-out. This show is about as real as it gets, but c’mon…Omar probably should have been plastered on the sidewalk after a jump like that. Unless his black duster turns into wings or something, I don’t see how he lands that and walks away. He better have some broken bones in next week’s episode.
Moving on to Clay Davis. Maybe it’s a stupid question to ask, but is there anyone he wasn’t in bed with? Those two scenes where first Nerese and then Royce each told Clay to buck up and take the hit were great because it just shows you how connected he is in Baltimore’s political scene. He opens his mouth and plenty of others will go down with him. I think the one thing I found troubling was Clay’s radio appearance and the subsequent rally. I suppose it’s unavoidable, but I hated the way all the people at the rally were depicted as being so naïve. Read the papers, watch the news–Clay is not a good guy. But politics can be just like a religion and supporters can quickly become rabid in their beliefs to the point that even the most blatant evidence won’t sway their opinions. Honestly, I think it would have been just as realistic to see only two or three people show up at the rally as Royce says the same things to Clay: take the hit, or you’re done in this city…and everyone knows it.
I also wanted to mention the appearances by Elena and Beadie. Two really great moments. Elena tried to set Jimmy straight, telling him to not screw things up with Beadie. How often do you actually hear a woman tell her ex-husband that she likes his girlfriend? That’s got to count for something. At the same time, you have Beadie going to Bunk asking if Jimmy will ever change. It put Bunk in an odd position and you could tell he hated himself for using Jimmy’s “serial killer” as an excuse, but at least Beadie saw through it. I’d like that think that if she does go through with kicking Jimmy out, it will make a difference. But now that he and Lester have their wire-tap, I don’t think anything is going to slow him down. Even if it means the end of Jimmy and Beadie.
So, about that wire-tap. How exactly does it work this time? Jimmy filed it based on the pay-phone call that Scott “received.” However, he made sure The Sun didn’t report where the call came from. Jimmy plans on keeping that secret. Why? Because he filed the tap clearance using Marlo’s cell phone number as the number that came in. (Herc has officially redeemed himself by snagging that # from Levy’s Rolodex.) So while homicide is monitoring a dead line leading to nowhere, Lester is actually up on a wire at the Major Crimes office.
So all of this warrants an obvious question that was born in the first few minutes of this episode: knowing what he knows, why the hell would Marlo ever use a cell phone? Vondas gave it it to him and there was obviously something about it that convinced Marlo it was safe. We found out at the end. After Lester flipped on the wire-tap, a call came through almost immediately. The problem? Static. Buzz. Sounded like a dial-up modem. So the phone has some kind of jamming device built into it. So now what? Coincidentally, this relates directly to what I wondered about last week. Lester is officially involved in this whole mess now since he’s maintaining an illegal wire-tap. He and Jimmy are screwed if they can’t fix this.
More thoughts…
- I loved when Zorzi gave Rhonda hell at the Bond press conference for not calling The Sun about Clay’s perp walk.
- Seeing Chris say good-bye to his girlfriend and then play with her daughter and some dolls was just weird. Who could ever love that guy?
- Bubbles isn’t HIV . That’s great! I’m looking forward to the moment when he stops punishing himself for Sherrod.
- I loved the scene when Lester went to Cedric for money to take down Marlo with the new phone number and a fresh wire-tap. Cedric had just returned from eating his first “bowl of shit” from Mayor Carcetti and when he said “no,” Lester gave him a look that said, “you’re part of the problem now.”
- Scott made up a homeless family of four! He’d kill his own mother if it got him on the front page.
- I think the funniest part of the episode was when Jay was looking at a lingerie ad instead of porn and Bunk asked what it was. Jay’s response? “Change of pace. They look good with clothes on too.”
- Saddest line of the episode definitely goes to Beadie: “I don’t like givin’ up.”
- Actually, now that I’m thinking about it, you know what was funnier than Jay’s line? When Scott asked where he was going to find homeless people. Gus: “Not at home I imagine.” Priceless.
- Now that the “serial killer” has turned into a true red ball, there’s going to be a lot more eyes on it and I really don’t think Jimmy considered that. The idea is for everything to go unnoticed until they have what they need for Marlo.
- Even though Lester plans to attribute anything he gets from the wire-tap to an informant in court, I still don’t see how he can’t get caught. Sooner or later, someone has to realize how he got from A to Z, right?
Well, we’re at the half-way point of the season and I will say this definitely felt like a peak because it’s all downhill from here. Jimmy and Lester have gotten what they wanted, so it can only unravel from here. Omar has presumably had enough since he went over the edge (literally) and I wonder if he’ll just start gunning for only Marlo. Dukie’s relations with the rest of the corner boys are only going to get worse unless he makes a change. And Clay Davis is getting ready for his day in court. In the meantime, one great thing to look forward to is the return of Randy next week. Looks like Bunk is back up on the Lex murder. In the words of Omar, “Indeed.”
American Idol: San Diego Auditions
(S07E03) Simon (to Christopher Baker): “The reality is there is not a single person on planet Earth who would ever pay to hear you sing.”
Christopher: “I understand your opinion, Simon, and I am going to sing the song in a lower tone.”
San Diego, California. Where the talented flock to make their dreams come true and where many of them stay after that dream fizzles. Never mind that Carly Hennessy, er I mean Smithson, over there has already had a major record deal with MCA Records back in 2001, she’s got a sleeve of tattoos now, a new husband and name so she’s a fresh-faced undiscovered talent all over again. So just shut up and don’t question it already, capische?!
There is definitely a larger focus on the good singers this season. Finding the right balance is the double-edged sword that Idol dances in these early episodes. The “If I’m gonna be stuck in traffic for an accident I’d better damned well see some bodies” mentality that loves the terrible and those who get sick of the overwhelming parade of freaks and weirdos we’ve been subjected to the past few seasons.
Of course they couldn’t all be great, but things did start off strong…
Tetiana Ostapowych, (24, Venice, CA - “Someone to Watch Over Me,” Ella Fitzgerald) is a pretty blonde, but Simon said “I don’t think you’re as good as you think you are.” She did sing with a smug arrogance that never translates well unless you’re Celine Dion, and Tetiana ain’t all that. Simon went on to say “I don’t think you’re ever gonna be great. I think you’re good, but you’re not great.” When it comes down to the vote, she asks Simon to let her prove him wrong and he puts her through. I agree that she probably won’t stand out enough to even make it to the Top 24, but she’s a pleasant enough face and vocal to get to Hollywood.
Things looked up from here, though as Perrie Cataldo (27, Phoenix, AZ) bellowed Boyz II Men’s “I’ll Make Love to You” as if it had been written for him. Add to that the sympathetic back story that he’s a single father due to his three year old son’s mother meeting an untimely and violent end and we have a guy who will stand out and be memorable. The Idol formula for making the Top 24. And now that it’s been a few minutes, do you remember that one chick they opened the show with? Yeah, me neither. See how that works?
Things kept rolling right along as Aussie-American Michael Johns (28, Los Angeles, CA) came in and was dubbed “a white soul singer” by Simon for his rendition of Otis Redding’s “I’ve Been Loving You Too Long.” I’ve got to be honest with you, he did way too many vocal runs up and down the scales for me but it seemed to work with the judges.
One of the weirder auditions of the night was that of Samantha Musa (20, Baldwin Park, CA). Her sister and she have an obsession with Simon, to the point where her sister throws in a paper airplane note begging Simon to let her sit in on the audition. He does her one better by allowing her to judge it while sitting on his lap. A very weird setup for a pretty solid singing of Aretha Franklin’s “Until You Come Back to Me.” Samantha has a pretty face, a good style but beyond this silliness with her sister and Simon, how memorable is she really? Honestly, I’m thinking she’ll struggle to stand out on her vocal abilities alone.
One guy who won’t have any trouble is sixteen year old David Archuleta (Murray, UT). Not only does he get the sympathetic back-story (”I used to have a paralyzed vocal cord and struggled to talk but now I can sing like an angel”) but he has talent, too. It’d be more cloying if it weren’t true. This sixteen year old, whose talking voice is still youthfully high, has a mature singing voice well beyond his years. He had the best song choice of the night with John Mayer’s “Waiting on the World to Change.” A youthful song that suited his years. He’s adorable and brilliantly talented. Look for him to go pretty far and he’s definitely one of my favorites.
The final audition of the night was Carly Smithson (23, San Diego, CA), who apparently had that big contract when she was a teenager but never really got anywhere with it. Be pissed off about that or not, but the broad can blow! Not everyone can pull of Chaka Khan (though way too many try), but Smithson sings with a voice and discipline that definitely backs up the theory that she’s a seasoned professional. If she’s legally qualified to be involved in the show, then I guess I don’t have a problem with it. Now if Britney Spears gets dropped by her label and then tries out next year, that’s different. Well, aside from the fact that she probably wouldn’t make it to Hollywood based on her vocal talents anyway.
San Diego sent thirty-one talented people to Hollywood, but it can’t all be good, or it wouldn’t be American Idol. Do the math, if 12,000 people tried out 31 people made it, that leaves a whole, whole lot of crap out there. I give you Exhibit A.
Valerie Reyes (20, Riverside, CA) is Mariah Carey. Just ask her. And just as Mariah would, Valerie did a lot of vocal runs in her audition too but the effect wasn’t quite the same. Reyes said “I’ll be singing anywhere, when I’m walking down the street, wherever and people are like ’whoa, did you have, like, Mariah playing.’ I’m like ’no, that was me.’” As it turns out she must hang out in a lot of deaf communities because no one told her that doing all of Mariah’s vocal affections does not Mariah’s talent give you. Not to mention the fact that poor Phil Collins’ “Against All Odds (Take a Look at Me Now)” was never meant to be sung like that. Poor Val even did Mariah’s really high runs. Simon compared her vocal sounds to “Mariah Carey’s CD left out in the sun for a year and then trying to play it.”
In the greatest irony of the night, before her audition, Reyes talks about how hilarious all those terrible auditioners are and then afterward says “Now I’m gonna be on the rejects, now that I think of it. Oh, that’s so not cool.” But you know, Valerie. It is cool in it’s own way. Most people get nothing and now you’re going to be seen on television and if you’re god-awful enough you can gain Idol infamy for that. Isn’t that better now?
Speaking of Idol infamy, I think we all remember Blake Boshnack (22, Long Beach, NY). And not for his singing ability either but because he dressed up like the Statue of Liberty two years ago. Well, it turns out he’s tried out ten times prior to this year and he’s back again, with his Idol obsessed mother in tow. This year he comes in no costume, which the judges find refreshing. And after belting out Ben E. King’s “Stand By Me” for the judges, he can head back home and start working on his costume for next year.
The angry auditioners of the night, who are very tame compared to other cities are friends Monique Gibson (24, San Diego, CA) and Christopher Baker (22, San Diego, CA). Since they’re both so great they both decide they can take on Whitney Houston. Gibson brings us “I Believe in You and Me,” but it’s the Whitney and the Chipmunks version, with her working her goat bleating vibrato. When the judges failed to see the brilliance in that performance, she tried a few other songs. Simon tried to tell her “There’s not a song, not a word, not a note that is going to rescue you. Nothing.” But she can sing. She can. She said so. In her post-audition interview she’s “very hurt,” but “hopefully my friend makes it.”
Christopher decides to show us the “Greatest Love of All,” and it involves a lot of yelling. Constant loud yelling of the lyrics to the point where he can’t even hear the judges trying to stop him. Somewhere a death metal band is nodding in approval. Christopher was extremely polite in his denial of the fact that he can’t sing. But he’s a good looking guy and he sings just as well as his friend Monique, so there’s your silver lining, buddy. Now stop singing and let these nice men take you out of the room to think about it. Christopher and Monique give it a good effort, cursing and bashing the show but their hearts just aren’t in it and they leave after only a few minutes. So much for the ranting and raving crazies in San Diego.
Fulfilling the slot for the oddest performance of the night was Alberto Hurtado (28, Chula Vista, CA). He sports nice long crack/cocaine fingernails, long beautiful frizzy hair and coddling and overly supportive parents. He probably gets a pat on the back and a cookie every time he makes a doodie. He said a bunch of weird crap that I think he thought sounded spiritual and intellectual and deep (it didn’t) and then proceeded to depress the hell out of the judges, me and all of America with his original composition “Live.” Simon tells him “It’s probably the most depressing song I’ve ever heard in my life” and “You are the equivalent of a storm cloud on a sunny day.” But it’s okay because his mom thinks he’s beautiful (he’s not) and talented (he’s not) and artistic (he’s not).
In the promos, Idol touted Sarah Long (24, San Diego, CA) as possibly the new William Hung. And while Randy did ask her about him, we only got to see about six or seven seconds of her audition. It was enough, however, for me to figure out who she sounded like, even if I had no chance in hell of understanding what she was singing. She was South Park’s Eric Cartman; maybe she was singing Styx’s “Come Sail Away.”
But far and away the audition of the night was a brilliant rendition of Oleta Adams’ “Get Here if you Can” by Joseph (21) and Juanita (17) Mejia from Menifee, CA. It was a Penn & Teller inspired duet, with Juanita playing the role of the dancing silent mime. Joseph’s vocals weren’t that bad actually but the rest was so odd and distracting that tragically their journey ended here tonight. I’m sorry, I can’t go on. I’m gonna go light two candles in a silent vigil while you vote for who you think was the best of the night.
Tomorrow night we go to South Carolina for that sweet southern hospitality, so I’m sure everyone will be both polite and cordial. Yeah, right! See you then.