Five favorite George Carlin HBO routines
When I posted about George Carlin’s death early Monday morning, I made a couple of mistakes, mainly due to a combination of shock and tiredness:
1) I said that Carlin “passed away.” Anyone who’s listened to Carlin’s comedy knows that he hated euphemisms like “he passed away.” So, let me correct things right now: George didn’t pass away or leave this earth. He died.
2) I really didn’t convey how ingenious his comedy was. His observations of even the smallest of human foibles and his examinations of how we use the English language were always among the funniest routines he would do, even funnier than the ones about politics or religion or anything else that happened to chap his ass that year.
I knew about Carlin mostly through his albums, because I didn’t have HBO (Occupation: Foole was the first Carlin album I ever heard, and I still think it’s the best). But, thanks to HBO and YouTube, I can give you — in no particular order — my five favorite Carlin routines … well, at least the ones that aired on TV:
Baseball and Football: This is probably Carlin’s best known bit, aside from “The Seven Words You Can Never Say on TV.” It certainly is the one the die-hard fans like the best. Why? Because it’s Carlin in a nutshell: his observations of human behavior paired with precise use of language provides the audience a routine they laugh and applaud at because they not only find it funny, but find it painfully and utterly true as well. It’s also a favorite because it’s the routine that Carlin tinkered with the most over the years. He did an early form of the routine on the first episode of Saturday Night Live in 1975, and I heard him do it again at a concert in 1999. But this version, which in this video is from the 1990 special Doin’ It Again, is the one I like the best, mainly because of how polished and considered his use of language and voice inflection is, which heightens the comedy.
Stuff: After listening to Occupation: Foole, I sought out other Carlin albums. The first one I bought on my own was A Place for My Stuff, which was a 1981 album that combined live bits (like one about being a “Picky Eater”) with studio bits recorded with the help of Denny Dillon (my favorite: the game show called “Asshole, Jackoff, Scumbag!”). A few years later, he did a similar special called Carlin on Campus, featuring some animation and a couple of different routines (including an 1980s version of “Baseball and Football”). In both cases, his ruminations of “Stuff” and how people are so devoted to it was my favorite bit. It’s one of his more acute and detailed observations about the human condition, especially when he explains how people take a “smaller version” of their stuff so they’re comfortable on vacation.
This version is from a Comic Relief episode, but it’s pretty much the same as the one from Carlin on Campus (love the list of essential items at the end):
Have a Nice Day: Until Carlin on Campus, Carlin’s albums and HBO specials didn’t coincide. So, even though this routine is from Carlin at Carnegie, I first heard it on the album A Place for My Stuff. Yet another exploration of the things people say to each other that are utterly ridiculous. “If I’m in a particularly jaunty mood, I’ll tell them ’I’m not unwell, thank you,’ which pisses them off because they have to figure it out for themselves.”
Sports: Carlin loved sports, as his constant tinkering with “Baseball and Football” showed. But this routine, from 1986’s Playin’ With Your Head, is just as considered and detailed. It goes over Carlin’s rules as to what should be a sport and what shouldn’t (”Remember, it’s my rules; I make ’em up.”). One of my favorite parts is how he breaks down the game of volleyball: “Racketless team ping-pong played with an inflated ball and a raised net while standing on the table.”
Things You Never See: This one is also from Doin’ It Again, and I list it for one sentence and one sentence only. I won’t repeat it here, but it has to do with a hot poker and chopping something off. I first heard that line when Carlin performed at William Paterson College in 1989, and I almost choked on my own spit, I was laughing so hard. Carlin’s ability to put words together in unique and funny ways always were my favorite parts of his routines.
If you notice, there aren’t any recent Carlin routines on this list. During most of the ’90s and ’00s, Carlin was in his angry “the human race is doomed” phase, which just wasn’t as funny as the more observational stuff. Not that he didn’t have any good recent routines — his observations on death and how people deal with it were funny as hell — but I think the earlier ones were less angry and a bit more precise. And I didn’t put any of his “Seven Words” routines because, well … they’re funny, but much broader than the ones than are my favorites. Of all the “Seven Words” routines he’s done, the best one is “Filthy Words” off Occupation: Foole, which you can hear here (staring around the four-minute mark) and here.
What are your favorites? Let me know in the comments.
NBC airing first episode of SNL as a Carlin tribute - VIDEO
Of the many achievements George Carlin had in his long career, one that gets underplayed a bit is that he was the guest host on the first-ever episode of Saturday Night Live — then called NBC’s Saturday Night, thanks to Howard Cosell — in 1975. Not a bad choice, I’d have to say; since the “Not Ready for Prime Time Players” were only a part of that first episode (there was a lot of music and odd Muppets about … the show took some time to find itself), they needed Carlin to carry a lot of the comedic load. And that he did, giving the audience a number of his best routines from that time period.
As a tribute to the recently-deceased comedy legend, NBC will air the entire premiere episode of SNL this Saturday night. For those who have never seen the premiere before (it’s on a DVD set of the complete first season), it’ll be interesting to see how different the first episode is from the SNL format they know and hate-love today. I’ll be DVRing it; will you?
To give you a taste, the opening monologue — an early version of Carlin’s classic “Baseball and Football” routine — is after the jump.
I Can’t Believe I’m Still Single From Portland to Portland: Episode One (series premiere)
The good thing about this new series is that you know in the first two minutes whether or not you are the audience the show is looking for. All you have to do is ask yourself, “Am I interested in seeing a man forced to go down on a dildo being worn by a dominatrix?” If the answer is yes, keep reading.
The premise of the show is quite simple. Eric Schaeffer wrote a book about being single and trying to find love. When he went on his book tour he decided to make stops along the way, talk to different people about love and relationships and film it all for this documentary.
In case you’ve never heard of Schaeffer, he’s a fairly successful writer and actor. His most recent project was the FX show Starved, which ran for one season. My favorite of his body of work is a short-lived sitcom he starred on with Jeffrey Tambor called Everything’s Relative.
The show is rife with too much information. I’m sure Schaeffer finds a lot of humor in his stories about masturbation and being anally violated but for me it’s sort of like having a friend who you’ve known for a short while tell you something personal you never wanted to know, like he enjoys being anally violated.
Right after Eric arrives in Los Angeles he calls Amy, a girl he met online, so they can get together and have dinner. Amy is one of the few women that Eric thinks he could have a relationship with. When we get to see her in person, it’s clear that she isn’t very comfortable on camera. Personally, I can’t blame her. If you’ve ever seen Schaeffer act, you know that he generally plays an obsessive, self- involved chatterbox and his behavior in this documentary is basically the same. Maybe he’s playing it up for the camera but it seems to me that if he is really looking for a relationship then this experiment is not the way to go about it.
At the halfway point in the first episode, I have already had enough of Eric. Maybe it’s because I am a single guy myself and I have a lot less at my disposal to help me snare a lady, but his compulsive, self-destructive routine doesn’t really impress me.
Not to cast aspersions but I also have my doubts about the “reality” of the show. While it’s clearly unscripted, it seems that many scenes are planned out in order to demonstrate Eric’s food addiction or his fear of aging. Like most of you, I can spot that kind of stuff a mile away.
Another annoying part of the show are the multiple interviews Eric has with his longtime dominatrix. I suppose if I had an interest in S&M, I might like hearing her talk about their activities but while I enjoy many colors of the sexual rainbow, that particular shade doesn’t appeal to me, Moreover, I don’t have much interest in the sexual habits of a guy as desperate as Eric Schaeffer, therefore those conversations are of no value to me.
When all is said and done, it turns out that Eric and Amy decided not to continue dating because “there wasn’t much chemistry.” This ending is the final proof that Schaeffer is destined to be alone because if he can’t find some kind of connection with a woman as beautiful as Amy there’s clearly something wrong with him.
Tyra Banks Nabs an Emmy
Tyra Banks Nabs an Emmy
Ever since she began her own talk show, something has set Tyra Banks apart from the rest of the pack. And now she has a Daytime Emmy Award to prove it.
At yesterday’s 2008 Daytime Emmy Awards, held at the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood, the supermodel-turned-talk show host was on cloud nine, garnering the first ever Daytime Emmy for Informative Talk Show.
And she gave credit where credit was due, telling the audience, “I want to thank Oprah Winfrey for her inspiration. She is the queen. She will always be the queen.” Banks also mentioned, “My mama is crying like a baby.”
Tyra’s model background definitely came out in her ensemble, consisting of a strapless beige floor-length gown with embroidered accents along with a blinging bracelet.