What If Michael Bay Wrote The Dark Knight?
“Bruce: We hack the internet.
Alfred: Hack the internet?
Bruce: Yes, hack the internet.
General: No one’s ever hacked the internet before.
Bruce: Well, there’s a first time for everything.
General: Okay, I like it. But which one of the internets do we hack?
Bruce: All of them.”
Sound like a Michael Bay film? Wait, there’s more!
“We pan to a beautiful woman: platinum blonde with a huge rack. She is the hottest woman in the world, but she wears glasses because she is also the smartest woman in the world.”
That is a description of Rachel Dawes, played by Maggie Gyllenhaal in the soon to be released Dark Knight. These golden nuggets of humour come from Michael Bay’s version of The Dark Knight…which Michael Bay did not write. Spill.com did. Although, they do capture the spirit of a Michael Bay film. Lots of nonsense, good looking females and explosions. Oh and cars.
To read the script by ‘Michael Bay’ click here!
Thanks to Steve for the tip!
Russian Mutant Chronicles Trailer Is Better Than The Non Russian Trailer!
We got our first look at Mutant Chronicles the other day. It looked good but not amazing…it lacked something. Thankfully that something is here in the Russian trailer. You wont be able to understand anything they are saying but when you have herds of disfigured mutants and explosions who cares about speech?
Exclusive: Tori Is Out, Shannen Is In for 90210 Remake!
If you’re a fan of the OG Peach Pit posse, you might want to sit down, ‘cause sources connected to the CW’s new 90210 are spilling exclusive dish of OMG proportions.
In a nutshell: Shannen Doherty is in, Tori Spelling is out and Jennie Garth may be—wait for it—reuniting with Shannen on the screen.
(We’ll pause while you find a paper bag to breathe into…especially if your name happens to be Jennie Garth.)
After EW.com’s Michael Ausiello first reported the news that Shannen is in talks, a very reliable and very inside source who works on 90210 tells me exclusively that “It is happening with Shannen. It’s just a question of how long she’ll shoot, whether it will be one day or ten, and what the storyline will be, but we are working on it and it is a very real thing.”
Inside sources also confirm exclusively that Tori will not be appear in the season premiere as planned because of personal reasons—like she just gave birth to a baby girl on June 9. The new mom had been signed on to do a few episodes at the beginning of the season, but she isn’t yet ready to return to work, so her appearance has been pushed to a later date.
As for Shannen’s storyline, I’m told the details are still in the initial-concept stages, but the writers are hoping to get Shannen and Jennie together, onscreen, for a scene. Can you imagine? As far as superhot publicity explosions go, that would be akin to mixing gasoline, Tabasco sauce and fire.
Of course, the real question is, will they do it? “I don’t think there’s any love lost between Shannen and Jennie,” says one rock-solid inside source. “But they are both adults now and professionals, and I don’t see it being an issue. Everyone has their take on what happened back in the day, and I think the feeling is that it’s time to move on. They were 19 and 20 when all of that happened and a lot has changed. And, you know, they’re not moving in together, just shooting together for an hour and a half.”
Another insider close to the negotiations points out: “I want to stress that Shannen has been very, very cool through this whole process. We have seen nothing like the behavior for which she was once famous for.”
Awww…Who doesn’t love a redemption story, right? As long as there are two red dresses in the dressing room, all should be right with the world, the ratings should go through the roof and we 9-0 fans can start freaking out about how lip-smackingly juicy this remake just might turn out to be.
What do you think of Jennie and Shannen reuniting? Post your comments below!
Green Hornet Scoop: Seth Rogen vs. Bruce Lee!
He’s already the unlikeliest leading man in Hollywood, but are you ready for Seth Rogen: Action Hero? He is, kinda, as he preps for his tights-wearing close-up in The Green Hornet, set for summer 2010. But do his Knocked Up fans even know the old comics or ’60s TV series?
“When you say The Green Hornet to people, the first thing anyone says is, ’Hey, Bruce Lee played [the sidekick] Kato on that show,’” Rogen told us recently, while out promoting The Pineapple Express.
Everybody knows the sidekick, see, but not the hero.
To introduce the world to Kato’s second fiddle, Rogen wrote the script with his Superbad and Pineapple partner Evan Goldberg. Here’s what they cooked up…
“For years we’d actually been trying to write a movie that was kind of about a hero and his sidekick,” Rogen said. “When we heard The Green Hornet movie was up for grabs, we thought that could be the most perfect way to do this story; he’s the only hero whose sidekick is actually more known than he is.”
But can the man known for making gay jokes and insulting Matthew Fox kick ass? He’ll just have to turn all his four letter words into explosions.
“In writing The Green Hornet, we have not hit many situations where you’re like, ’You know what would make this scene better, if Kato said c–ksucker.’”
Well, not yet, at least.