Would You Like a Side of Ranch With That Hot Derena?
Ah, if only this weren’t for the CW cameras, right?
Despite ongoing rumors that Penn Badgley and Blake Lively may be romantically linked in real life and despite this smoking-hot, sucky-face photo that just leaked out of the Hamptons (hot!), a source who works on Gossip Girl tells me (spoiler alert): “I’m pretty sure that’s for the show. They do kiss in the first episode.”
Regardless, the eye candy above should sweeten your day if you’re a fan, because not only does it mean Dan and Serena might not be totally over, it also comes with this news from the same insider: “The Hamptons episodes look amazing.” Did you hear that? Episodes. Turns out, Gossip Girl will be in the Hamptons for episodes one and two for the upcoming season.
In the eps, the Upper East Siders hit the Hamptons for a Diddy-esque white party, attended by our usual glamorous gang and some real-life socialites (including Tinsley Mortimer, whom I’ll pretend I’ve heard of).
The only dark clould lingering over this perfect beach scene? I hear the D and S reconciliation might not be long for this world. So soak it up while you can.
Are you rooting for Derena? Comment below.
Would You Like a Side of Ranch With That Derena?
Ah, if only this weren’t for the CW cameras, right?
Despite ongoing rumors that Penn Badgley and Blake Lively may be romantically linked in real life and despite this smoking-hot, sucky-face photo that just leaked out of the Hamptons (hot!), a source who works on Gossip Girl tells us (spoiler alert): “I’m pretty sure that’s for the show. They do kiss in the first episode.”
Regardless, the eye candy above should sweeten your day if you’re a fan, because not only does it mean Dan and Serena might not be totally over, it also comes with this news from the same insider: “The Hamptons episodes look amazing.” Did you hear that? Episodes. Turns out, Gossip Girl will be in the Hamptons for episodes one and two for the upcoming season.
Get more scoop on what’s in store for the show in the Watch With Kristin TV column.
Springer and a Spice Girl to host the Miss Universe pageant
Jerry Springer and Mel B will host the 2008 Miss Universe Pageant live from Vietnam. Both Springer and the former “Scary Spice” are excited about the pageant. Mel B, former contestant on Dancing with the Stars, exclaims, “I’m thrilled to be a co-host of the Miss Universe Pageant. I believe the diversity and dedication that the pageant brings inspires and empowers young women across the globe.” Springer, host of the hit summer show America’s Got Talent, is also happy to take on the hosting duties. He says, “”This is obviously a great honor and getting to work alongside Mel B makes it even better.”
The competition will feature contestants from eighty countries. Each pageant hopeful will be judged on three categories: swimsuit (the eye-candy category), evening gown (the shameless endorsement category) , and interview (the “We swear, we didn’t just want to see them in swimsuits.” category). Last year’s winner Riyo Mori of Japan will be on hand to crown this year’s Miss Universe.
The Miss Universe Pageant will air on July 13th at 9:00 p.m. ET on NBC (and simulcast on Telemundo).
The Venture Bros: Home Is Where The Hate Is - VIDEO
Wow! An episode with absolutely no flashbacks or crazy hallucinations. That’s a change. However, this was definitely the slowest episode out of the four that have aired, and I feel like we are missing something. Don’t get me wrong. I have loved just about everything from this season, but it seems like we should be a bit further at this point. Only now do we see the direction for the rest of the season and who our major players are going to be. It’s been two hours of set up. When are we getting the punchline?
Well, at least we got a bit of eye candy. Jackson Publick said this episode is “probably the most beautifully animated episode of The Venture Bros. ever.” I must admit, I was pretty impressed by moments as simple as The Monarch peering through stained glass.
Okay, let’s break this down. The Monarch and Dr. Girlfriend (because “Dr. Mrs. The Monarch” is too much of a pain to type) have finalized their move-in to Phantom Limb’s Frank Lloyd Wright house. The Monarch burned all of Phantom Limb’s stuff, allowing for the second The Secret reference and millionth “Man-” villain joke of the season. He also felt weird about with living in a cozy gated community and a super-villain-filled town called Malice. I’d be worried too, as living in such a place would probably make me want to dance like a little English boy every day.
In an attempt to keep their work and personal lives separate, they have made the Henchmen live on their own in the Cocoon. However, Kevin and Tim-Tom have been complaining about bullying and The Monarch agrees to let them live in the house. Obviously, the Murderous Moppets are the ones doing the actual bullying, but it seems like they’re very manipulative as well. At the end of the season premiere, they stabbed #24 after the Gatorade attack, leaving him stuck in the sick bay. Despite their Shadowmen history, The Monarch still doesn’t quite know who #24 is.
#21: You think you could sign this, boss? It’s for #24. He got knifed by the Moppets.
The Monarch: Which one is #24, again?
#21: What? You’re kidding, right? Let me give you a hint… You know how every time you talk to me, there’s usually another guy next me? That’s #24.
The Monarch: Right, right, right. The one who sounds like Ray Romano. I like him.
Over on the Venture compound, Sgt. Hatred paid a visit to his newest Guild-assigned arch-enemy, Dr. Venture. The first time we saw Sgt. Hatred, he was sucking on the toes of his wife, Princess Tinyfeet, so I was worried we were going to be facing a lot more of that business in the compound. Instead, Hatred seemed polite and eager to show Brock and Dr. Venture that he knows the Guild guidelines and wants to play fairly. The best part of this was when Hatred suddenly pulled out a gun and shot Dr. Venture in the stomach as a joke. Sensitive to Dr. Venture’s frail nature, he immediately ordered his henchmen to go “full Nerf.” By the way, Hatred is not voiced by Brendon Small, but Jackson Publick because he will be playing a greater role this season.
In an attempt to distract himself, The Monarch flipped through the Guild facebook to find a new goodie to arch. We quickly saw a picture of Dr. Tara Quymn in the book. No information on her yet, but there’s an upcoming episode called “Dr. Quymn, Medicine Woman,” so she’s probably important. Perhaps she’s The Monarch’s new Guild-assigned enemy? The Monarch’s peace was interrupted by the Venture family accidentally coming to his door while looking for Sgt. Hatred’s meet-and-greet party. Missing the old days of hatin’ on Venture, he decided to stop by as well.
Sgt. Hatred’s place was packed with super-villains, including Joseph and his Amazing Technicolor Nightmare-coat, who is actually much scarier up close. We were also reminded of Sgt. Hatred’s old pedo-tendencies when he spotted Hank and Dean in his house. The Monarch volunteered to send the beautiful minors to the Cocoon for the henchmen to babysit, just to have Dr. Venture unattached. While Dr. Venture awkwardly wandered around a party full of baddies and attempted to hit on Dr. Girlfriend (meow), Sgt. Hatred showed The Monarch around his home, which includes a weapons den with a big-ass Confederate flag. The Monarch swiped an explosive chip. Sneaky, sneaky. More stealing from Hatred.
Hank and #21 had some fun after leaving hapless #24 with Dean, going all Patch Adams in the sick bay. When #24 talked about his dad dating his ex-girlfriend, I desperately wanted him to say something about “under the shirt, over the bra with new mom,” which is a quote from the DVD commentary that still haunts me to this day. #21 took Hank to the house to show him the Moppets and, after a few jokes about Nell, they were caught snooping and bolted. Were Tim-Tom and Kevin planning on gassing the Monarch and the Henchmen or Dr. Girlfriend as well? I feel like they have a weird attachment to their mommy-figure Dr. Girlfriend, but they could also be using her as just an in to the Monarch situation. Perhaps they’re sick of number two-ing for a number two. Anyway, the Moppets grabbed their knives to chase down #21 and Hank, who they thought was #24. A crazy Pacman-like chase sent #21, #24, Hank and Dean into Sgt. Hatred’s hedge maze, where the Henchmen shed their costumes to get rid off the embedded tracking devices. Hank and Dean decided to go streaking too, but at least we didn’t have to see them naked. I liked how Hank’s kerchief was actually attached to his shirt and not a separate accessory. How very cartoon-y.
Back at the party, The Monarch planted the explosive chip on Dr. Venture after some crappy party games (Dr. Girlfriend didn’t know who Jackie O was and… Chairman Wow, I see you!). We also learned the secret of Dr. Girlfriend’s voice in the most anti-climactic way possible. She smokes. That’s it. She has a smoker’s voice because she’s been smoking since, like, ’89. Frustrated by her secret, The Monarch took a soak in the hot tub with Sgt. Hatred. Beautifully tying up all the throwaway references to the Henchmen stealing parts from Sgt. Hatred’s machines, we learn that Sgt. Hatred has not been ignorant to the goings-on. He revealed his plan to treat Dr. Venture like a king to make The Monarch’s life torture, killing him without actually touching him. The Monarch, showing off his strategically placed censor box, then told Sgt. Hatred about the chip he had planted. His joy was short-lived though, as Dr. Venture stopped by to join them in the hot tub, just as the chip was about to go off. Good thing Sgt. Hatred hasn’t perfected his technology, because it didn’t go off. Still, this was the most naked episode ending ever.
It looks like the Monarch has yet another obstacle to get through to kill Venture. There’s Brock, the Guild, Sgt. Hatred and, most importantly, Dr. Girlfriend. Will he break her heart to fulfill his inexplicable desire to get rid of Dr. Venture? Also, when are we going to see Dean finally snap? During his short heart-to-heart with #24 at the end, he mentioned another crazy dream about his dad as a penis-stealing spider. An insane mental breakdown seems almost inevitable at this point.
Shirt of the Week: Sergeant Hatred. A part of me wanted it to be based on Sgt. Hatred’s lettered abdomen, as just “ATRED” going down the shirt. But this is cool too, I guess.