Sex and the City Review: A Man’s Perspective
The following review comes from our east coast correspondent Zach Lawrence:
Iron Man, Indiana Jones and the Jungle of the Swinging Shia, The Chronicles of Narnia; the last few weeks, my girlfriend has been a hardcore trooper. So what does a man do? He owes. He owes her one, and my fellow fan boys and movie geeks, listen closely, this information could save your life.
I was never a huge “Sex” fan, but I learned to appreciate the culture value of the four girls tearing up New York with their cosmopolitans and gabby sex chat turning an entire generation of regular girls into the equivalent of metro sexual males. This movie runs from nowhere and from what I remember, pretty much picks up where we last left the girls. When I say “runs from nowhere” I mean, there is no harbinger to kick off this highly anticipated film besides everyone’s contentment. Now this is where the genius kicks in, after beginning with everyone having settled into their lives, each in their own way individually and as a collective, they are almost immediately torn down to basically nullify what the whole series built up to.
Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda each have their own set of problems which tie in nicely with well placed and well paced dialogue over conveniently set up lunch dates and dinners. Carrie at the start of the movie is jilted by Big at the wedding alter and falls apart, while her girlfriends rally for support, Miranda’s husband cheats on her, Charlotte is still psychotically happy and (get ready) Samantha is the funniest part of the film. She, in my masculine opinion, was the most entertaining part of the show and still dominates on film. Sadly though that’s kind of it, things of course tie up here and there but this is still just Sex and the City, just a two and half hour (I repeat 2 ½ hours) long episode.
I was in a sold out, maximum capacity audience and was, I think, one out five men in attendance. The women laughed it up. Every unfunny dry joke of Carrie’s or ditsy move of Charlotte (literally shitting her pants), or Samantha foaming at the mouth for her hot neighbor, got a screaming response from all the cougars in the audience as well as the little girls who want to be like the characters. Also as a side note, this seems to be the year of full frontal male nudity, so men beware, there is more wang and man ass in this film then naked girls.
Now I’m not contradicting myself. This was not a bad film, it just wasn’t good. It was somewhere in that gray area of “ok” where you get lost in your decision on whether or not you liked it. At the end, the movie got a bigger applause then Indiana Jones which rocked me to the core in a disturbing way, and left you with no real answers. It ended in the same way the series ended. Thank god Pete didn’t see this film, it would have hurt his skull, I just have a larger capacity for girly things, I.E. shopping, hair and nails and boy talk. What I mean by that is I frequently get asked advice on wedding dress shopping which was a large part of this film as well as hair and nails and purses and shoes.
I think I may have lost a bet in the way that I believed Crystal Skull would still hold the #1 spot after its huge haul last week but after the movie let out last night I was dumbstruck. I have never seen a cinema more run amok with women that I fear for Indy’s spot. I may very well be eating my words that people have forgotten about Sex and the City, because my friends, about once a year a movie is released targeting a 100% female audience, and man oh man, they came in droves. It was like a sluttier Rocky Horror Picture Show with everyone dressing skanky like the girls in the movie; with the 18 to 60 year old demographic this movie is a gold mine for a single man to pick up girls. . . . . You will NEVER hear me say that again about a movie theatre, so get in while the gettings good!
Surviving Ben Affleck: A Career Not Gone, Baby, Gone
The following is an editorial by correspondent Zach Lawrence.
Like many of you Slashfilm enthusiasts out there, I have just read the article on Gone Baby Gone by Peter Sciretta, and watched the cool trailer. While he makes all the right points in all the right places, he lacks a few aspects to what I like to call the “mythology of Ben Affleck”. You see, some time ago at the end of the “Bennifer” era, and with the barrage of shoddy films Affleck had been releasing he went into hiding. Some people are fan boys for Star Wars or Transformers, but being from Boston I had happened to be an Affleck Fan boy, and this vanishing of my hero hit me hard.
Last year sometime I had written an article of Hollywoodland and Surviving Christmas and I thought that with the upcoming release of his new flick so would an upswing in his career. I was correct, if only slightly, I thought he deserved an Oscar nod for his supporting role but the snub fairy had struck again. We all can admit, Ben has a knack for awesome SNL performances and knows how to makes fun of himself. Did Jennifer Lopez have to disappear when this all happened? No. Ben took it all to the chin like a champ and I believe, will come out stronger for it. When the Hollywood Goldenboy did films like Gigli and Surviving Christmas he was crucified for them, but I’m sorry, they both were pretty damn good flicks. Fresh and original takes on the Gangster and Xmas genre.
So why, you ask? It’s an easy enough answer. At that point in time, it became a cool thing to rip apart Affleck. I share the same affinity for Good Will Hunting as Pete Sciretta does, being myself a Bostonian, and we both cringe with delight when Affleck feebly attempts to reenact his non existent Boston accent. The things we loved about Matt and Ben were what everyone had loved originally; they were branded the messiahs of Hollywoodland and were supposed to usher in the new era of what it was to be a star. Then there was. “Naw-uh, fuck that. Nick doesn’t do anything until Nick gets something for Nick. I want some hot chocolate. You want to hear about some Indian casino, I want to see some goddamn hot chocolate! And a piece of pecan fucking pie!”
For a fan it doesn’t get much better than that, but sadly Reindeer Games was just the slopes of the mountain for Affleck to ascend before his fall from the top down the other side. You forgot about his scene stealing characters in “Shakespeare in Love”, and seeing myself in the torment of Holden McNeal in “Chasing Amy”. The brilliance he gleamed with there as an actor was tear evoking, it was the only movie I believe I have seen where the protagonist was both hero and villain. “The girl?” Jason Lee asks on the couch, and he nods with tears streaming. And he meant that shit! You could see in his portrayal that as the “Good Guy” he was charming and funny, but he couldn’t bite his tongue and lashed out verbally as Darth McNeal when he felt inadequate. It was realistically acted for him to be bi-Affleckual in that flick, and that right there should have been the bar to which his acting chops were always judged.
So did he take the low road, while Damon took the high? No. Ben was just at the time, cool like gigipets and pogs and at some point needed to become lame to the public. So now with the Gone Baby Gone trailer impressing this writer, I will say what I have never abandoned Ben, and just sat in the wings eating my feelings waiting for his triumphant return. And while I shouldn’t hold out for “The Revenge of Shannon Hamilton”, I don’t know if I will be satisfied with this new Affleck behind the lens. Which raises another question, is he not crediting himself in the trailer for a reason? Does he believe it will attract negative attention to it, and he won’t be taken seriously as a director? It’s hard to say. But hey, I’ve got Matt and Ben possibly inking it up again, a new film coming my way, and anytime Kevin Smith does anything I can count on getting a glimpse of Ben which should be enough Affleck heroin to stop the itching in my veins until he headlines another flick. So here is the second wind, the upswing, the second coming, the resurrection of Affleck, and I’ve got my hot chocolate…And my piece of pecan fucken pie.
Box Office Predictions: Will Shrek Beat Spider-Man 3’s Opening Weekend Record?
After two weeks of easily winning the Box Office race, Spider-Man 3 finally faces some competition this week with the release of the second of three #3s in May, Shrek the Third. With only one new film opening in wide release, it should be an easy week to pick the top 5. But, the total amount brought in by each movie is the hard part. Can Shrek the Third eclipse Spider-Man 3 for the highest opening 3-day weekend total? How much more will Spider-Man 3 make now that it has real competition? Read on to find out:
1. Shrek the Third. Again, it is a “no brainer” of a pick for #1 this week. After all, it is the third in a highly successful series. In fact, Shrek 2 is the third highest grossing film in U.S. history with $436 million, only trailing Titanic and Star Wars. So it is obvious to say that the third in the series is eagerly anticipated. But the question remains, how eagerly is it being anticipated? As much as Spider-Man 3? I somehow doubt it, despite the fact that Shrek 2 made way more than Spider-Man
2. Spider-Man has the fan boys, more so than Shrek. It is more of an event film, particularly when it comes to the opening weekend. I can see Shrek the Third making more than Spider-Man 3 in the long run, but will it have as hot an opening? I’m not sure. Shrek 2, only (and I use the word “only” very loosely) brought in $128 million its opening weekend, and that was for five days. Spider-Man 3 made $151 million in three days! There was a real let down as many fans were disappointed in the movie. That could hurt Shrek the Third if people don’t want to fight the crowds opening weekend after being disappointed once this month. I just don’t see it doing quite as well. But it will still be a huge opening. It will bring in $130 million in three days, more than Shrek 2 made in five.
2. Spider-Man 3. After the biggest opening weekend ever, Spider-Man 3 lost 61% of its audience in its second weekend. That being said, it still made an astounding $58 million, which most movies would love as a grand Box Office total. Even many blockbusters would love it as an opening weekend total. For Spider-Man 3 it may have been a disappointing second week. But it is still well on its way to being a huge success. In fact, after just two weeks, it is the 40th highest grossing film of all time. After one more weekend it should be up to #30. If it drops down another 61%, it will bring in about $24 million. But I see it dropping a bit more than that from the strong competition. It will make $20 million.
3. 28 Weeks Later. The sequel to 28 Days Later got off to a decent start with just under $10 million last week. It didn’t do quite as well as the original which opened with just over $10 million, but it was very close. The original dropped down to $6 million for the second weekend, and I see this one doing the same.
4. Georgia Rule. It had a rather small opening weekend with $6.7 million. It hasn’t gotten great reviews and shouldn’t do much its second week either. It will bring in $4 million.
5. Disturbia. Disturbia has had a pretty solid run. It has made $66 million over five weekends, remaining in the top 5 that whole time. It will once again, its last weekend in the top 5 making only $3 million.
There are five other films opening this weekend, but all are in limited release as the studios don’t have any guts. Check back next week to see how I did.
Coolness: ‘Vader’s Birth’ As Done By A Film Student
Every now and again you get some hardcore fan boys trying to recreate their favourite movie and the only thing they gain from it is weird looks and if its on the internet, lots of abuse. However, a film student in Pittsburgh, PA was given the task of recreating any scene from any movie, and the director, an avid Star Wars fan, chose to re-create the “Vader’s Birth” scene from Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith…and its rather good.
I will post the video below, and then the actual scene from the film so you can compare.
Tip: Watch them both at the same time!
Film student:
Actual scene: (The ‘Nooooo’ is different from the original but it’s close enough!)