Stargate Atlantis: The Last Man (season finale)
“This is the most elaborate practical joke of all time, or I’m in serious trouble.” — John Sheppard
And there you have it. Atlantis wraps up its fourth season, its first out on its own, with a little time travel and a big cliffhanger ending. It was a finale that I had heard described as “different.” Having now seen it, it’s hard to argue with the description. Having 56 minutes of your finale be things that didn’t actually happen is certainly not the norm. While we can probably all agree on the different label, the bigger question is, “Was it good?”
First up, Sheppard’s trip 48,000 years into the future and the fates of the team. Fates that didn’t ultimately happen that is. McKay references the SG-1 episode “1969″ as he explains things to Sheppard, but for me the whole endeavor called to mind “Unending.” Generally, I’m not a fan of these “what if” or “alternate reality” stories. I’m not really that big on time travel in general. It’s just asking for trouble. Dr. Who is the only show that has ever consistently done it in a way that I didn’t ultimately find lacking.
With that in mind, I wasn’t all that enthused as McKay kicked off his tales of woe for the team’s post-Sheppard adventures. The McKay/Sheppard banter was good, but we all new that none of this was going to actually happen. Each of the stories did have their moments, but I couldn’t help thinking that the first 56 minutes of the hour were taken up by things that didn’t actually happen. All while Michael was running about, hatching evil super-villain plans. Given a choice, I would have preferred an hour spent on that.
What I did get out of the future that never happens (or did happen but is now erased, or exists in another dimension with monkeys and typewriters… Time travel, asking for trouble.) was a couple hints at what might be coming in the futures of some of the characters. Carter, for instance. I like the idea that she’ll leave her post at Atlantis to take command of her own ship much more than the IOC forcing her out so they can gain more control.
And that McKay/Keller romance… Or maybe that should be Rodney/Jennifer romance, because McKay/Keller calls up visions of TV’s Rich Keller smooching McKay, and none of us want to see that. Either way, I think it looks like we’ll be getting more of that as we move into season five.
Ronon and Teyla didn’t offer up a lot in their flash forwards. In fact, I thought Ronon’s was the one that didn’t quite fit. Sure, the loss of Sheppard and Teyla would weigh heavy on our old pal Mr. Dex, and that could certainly cause some behavioral changes. But he sure seemed awfully quick to partnering up with Todd back at the base, as opposed to just shooting him on sight. I suppose we can give that one a pass though because future Rodney was making the story up without any of the actual facts, as both of them died in the explosion and there was nobody to tell the tale.
Now, the worrisome bit of the whole shootin’ match for me was Woolsey. Our first little look at what it might look like with him in charge at Atlantis really didn’t do much for me. It’s certainly not fair to judge the whole idea based on this brief little bit that didn’t even happen, or did, and then… We’ll have to wait and see what season five Woolsey brings to the table. For now though, my expectations meter has swung to the pessimistic side where he is concerned.
As to the four minutes of real time story we got, there’s really not much to say. Galaxy going to hell, our heroes in peril, freeze frame and give ’em the to be continued graphic. Pretty standard stuff for a season finale. More from that part of the story would have been better, but it is what it is. On the positive side, with the return of Michael and the disappearance of Teyla, they have set up a great story that should get season five off to a running start.
And finally, given that this was the season finale, we should probably hammer out a grade for the Atlantis report card before we send them off on summer vacation to do something cool, like surf big waves at Waimea. It was an important season for the show, being the first without the protection that came from being paired with SG-1.
It wasn’t all smooth sailing. With the whole season now in the rear view, I’d call the Carter move less than successful. I don’t think it was a bad idea so much as it was just poorly executed. The limited episodes made it tough, but what they did with those limited episodes didn’t measure up to being all that it could have been. On a similar note, the handling of Weir, or I suppose it’s better put as the handling of Torri Higginson, really didn’t work out very well. And that’s unfortunate, because I think the repli-Weir story that they teased had some legs.
My only other complaint with the season would have been one of balance. I would have preferred that balance to swing a little more toward the team and greater mythology side of the scale. I’d call that one a minor gripe though, as many of those episodes that did leave members of the team waiting in the wings played very well. At the end of the day the season had a good amount of progress on the greater Atlantis story, and a nice bit of character growth for all of our main players, except Zelenka. It had more character assassination for him, but that is his lot in life it would appear.
All things considered, for me season four gets a solid B. And that will do it for a little while. We’ll pick things back up in the fall, or possibly summer, with a new commander, more Beckett, and a visit from Daniel Jackson. Until then, we’ll have to make due with Battlestar.
Hayden Panettiere: Feel the Burn!
Hayden Panettiere: Feel the Burn!
How in the world does Hayden Panettiere always look so good? Well, for starters, she’s constantly hitting the gym and breaking a sweat.
The “Heroes” star was on her way to Ultra Body Fitness Gym in West Hollywood yesterday when the paparazzi caught up with her. According to one shutterbug, “Hayden had some confusion as to where to park her car before heading inside for her workout.”
Of course, when you drive a Porsche SUV, there is careful consideration taken whenever it comes time to find a parking spot.
This blonde beauty will be enjoying some time off from her hit show, as “Heroes” just concluded Volume II “Generations” last night. And if you missed it, shame on you!
Tim Kring, the creator and executive producer of “Heroes” revealed some of the method to his madness in the season-closing episode.
The fates of Nathan and Niki are, according to Kring, “up in the air and will be determined when we come back after the strike. Things are fairly dire for them both.”
As for Adam, he was teleported by Hiro into a coffin buried in a Japanese cemetery… the same Japanese cemetary in which Adam killed Kaito (Hiro’s father). Kring told press, “It’s poetic justice to have Adam end up in the same graveyard as Kaito. We’ve given the audience no reason to believe that Adam can figure a way to get out of there. The fact that he can live forever makes this the most gruesome of internments. If this happened to any of us, at least we’d know we’d soon have the mercy of death. Not here.”
Lost's "Darlton" Dishes on Everything from Romance to Flashes to Four-Toed Statues!
Oooh! What goodness.
Executive producer badasses Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse just did a teleconference with reporters to talk about the return of Lost one week from today (holla!), and ponied up a lot of interesting info about what lies ahead, and what it all means.
If you're a fan, you don't want to miss this, so get in here for the dish…
What We Learned from Darlton Today:
This year’s huge season-finale shocker is being referred to as the “Frozen Donkey Wheel.” It does not involve donkeys, wheels or anything of an en-suffix nature. (Now it's totally obvious, right?)
Darlton won’t say a word about whether anyone is dying this season. Carlton says: “If we basically were to tease that there was going to be a death, sort of like when Shannon died, it kind of lead everybody to chase it down and spoil it. On the other hand, if we were to say that everyone is safe, that would kind of really ruin the dramatic impact of the finale. So we’re excited about what’s happening. There are definitely some very large and seismic events that will happen to our castaways between now and the end of the season. By the end of the season, some people’s fates will be clear and others will not be so clear."
Something big is up for Claire. “I think there is a very compelling event involving Claire’s character that will take place between now and the season finale.” (Rumors include everything from a kiss to the kiss of death…)
The flash-forwards and flashbacks are a “mosaic,” and when the “mosaic” is complete, the story of Lost is complete. Damon explains: “There is the story on the island, which we perceive to be the present, and then there’s the story of the Oceanic 6, which is happening off the island in the future. But if we were to switch perspectives at any time and suddenly we were off the island, focusing on the Oceanic 6 trying to get back, that would be the present, and what was happening back on the island would be either a parallel present, possibly a future, possibly a past. Who knows? So when you hear that whoosh noise, the question becomes ‘Where does it take you?’ Hopefully, if we do our jobs right in the finale, in the eight months in between the finale and the season premiere next year, the audience will once again be asking, ‘What the hell are they going to do in the season premiere?’ And that means we’re keeping people on their toes. And that's our intent.”
Regarding Jaters and Skaters, Damon says: “All we can say is that Sawyer is not one of the Oceanic 6 and Jack and Kate are. And obviously, there will be a huge focus in these final three hours of the show that comprise the finale in terms of how that series of events transpires, and ultimately what happens to Sawyer, and it’s all on the axis of the love triangle. So we think that both fans of Sawyer and Kate, otherwise known as the Skaters from what I’m told, and Jack and Kate, the Jaters, will have a bounty of interesting romantic scenes.”
On Juliet and Jack: “Well, Jack and Juliet obviously kissed in the sixth episode this year, and we will be sort of revisiting the emotional idea of that and their relationship in our second episode back, which is the one that airs on May 1,” says Damon.
Darlton loves Penny and Desmond. “It was certainly our intention to make that an epic love story along the lines of one of the central love stories in the show,” says Damon. “Because the chemistry between Ian Cusick and Sonya Walger works so well, it was a well that we wanted to return to sort of time and time again. Obviously, it became pivotal in Charlie’s death, and we feel some of the best episodes the show has ever done aren’t [the best] because they’re weird time-travel stories, it’s because they were so focused on that love story between Penny and Desmond. So we will certainly be returning to it. Unfortunately, Sonya is a very in-demand actor and is in Tell Me You Love Me for HBO, so it’s been challenging for us to secure her services, but once she becomes available, hopefully we’ll be using her again." Looks like someone needs to remind Sonya of her "constant!"
Carlton on Charles Whidmore: “The character’s importance changes over time.” Damon: “You will see him sooner, rather than later.” Carlton: “And see more of him.”
The first hour of the finale (May 15) is titled “There’s No Place Like Home.” (Henry Gale would agree.)
Smokey and Jacob will be in the first episode back. OMG, yee! Says Damon: “You will get a healthy dose of Jacob before the end of the season.” OK, but is he Jack’s dad?!
The fate of Karl and Rousseau will be known the first episode back, and Darlton really want to tell Rousseau’s story of how she got to the island.
The four-toed statue “will be back on the show,” says Damon. “People will learn who built it and why it has four toes.” (Obvious guess: Lawnmower accident.)
The first half of the season was supposed to be the setup, and the second half, the payoff. The writers’ strike really screwed that up, but they promise they will pay off.
Darlton wishes they could have told more of the freighters’ story this season, but are very happy with the casting. Each character turned out exactly how they had envisioned.
They are having discussions of a similar online experience for this summer that would segue into season five like Find815.com did.
How many people know the very end of the series? Damon: “Not a lot. We can conservatively say you could sort of count them all on one hand. But if we were to disclose the names of any others, they might be kidnapped and taken off to Central America and tortured.” Carlton: “We told Dick Cheney because we were pretty sure that no one would be able to find him and get the secrets from him.”
Got any new theories sparked by what you read above? Holler in the comments below!
Lost Redux: If Loathing Ben Is Wrong, I Don't Wanna Be Right
If you have not yet seen tonight's episode of Lost, please wait while an important message scrolls up from this box for you:
NOT YET
If you have seen the ep, then by all means, pin a note to your collar, say your last words, push the pedal to the metal and fly on in here…
"No more secrets."
This line from John Locke near the beginning of tonight's episode spelled out what the writers seemed to set out to do: To reveal a whole lotta things that have been keeping us guessing all season long. Holler!
Though chances are the writers didn't have time to change much of the script once the writers' strike was imminent, nearly every scene of episode eight seemed to scream out: "The strike's a-comin'! The strike's a-comin'! Quick! Reveal a bunch of stuff because we might not have any episodes for a good long while!"
Tonight's Michael/Kevin-centric Lost installment was indeed the last episode produced before the strike, which means we'll need to wait until April 24 (at 10 p.m.) to see what comes next. But thankfully, we do have plenty to chew on in the meantime…
What We Learned
"All of the Oceanic Six Have Been Revealed": Ben may be another story, but the ABC promo dude don't lie! And so, from tonight's teaser, we know that Claire's wittle bebeh Aaron does most definitely count as one of the six who get off the island. BTW, how genius was it that Damon and Carlton left that spot open for possibly Jin and then for possibly Michael so we'd not really know their fates while watching the last two episodes? Goddang I love this show.
Ben Isn't Evil. He's EEEEEVILLLLE: New drinking game! Every time Benjamin Linus allllmost convinces you that he's playing for the "good guys"—but then does something so despicable you want to climb through your screen and squish his little beady eyeballs like peeled grapes—take a nice big swig. Tonight was perhaps the most whiplashing of all such occasions, as he tossed out statements such as:
- "I do not kill innocent people."
- "I will not kill innocent people."
- "Then Michael, consider yourself one of the good guys."
And then…Whammo! It became clear he was behind the slaughter of two of the most seemingly innocent of all characters on the entire show (and the only two loved ones his daughter has): boyfriend Karl and mama Rousseau. It's obvious now that Ben is simply cultivating mass hysteria and paranoia to make the Losties do what he wants them to do. It's all part of his master plan to control the universe. And he also seemed to not graduate past the "mine!" obsession of the terrible twos.
RIP , Alex's Only Loved Ones: Karl, Danielle, we hardly knew ye. Well, technically we knew Rousseau a little bit from time to time, and Alex seemed to know Karl in the biblical sense (that's what Daddy was afraid of), but personally, I'm sad to see both these characters go. It also now makes perfect sense why Damon teased the last episode prestrike as having a cliffhanger "along the lines of Michael shooting Ana-Lucia and Libby." Only the good die in pairs, apparently.
Michael Has Reverse Charlie Syndrome: You think you had it bad, Charlie? Oh really? Well, how about finding out like Michael Dawson did that you are seemingly incapable of doing anything even remotely heroic, and your last-ditch resort—offing yourself—isn't even a viable option because, as Mr. Friendly put it, "The Island will not let you die." WTF? "Let you?"
The big, massive, mind-boggling question, of course, is exactly why and how "the Island" is controlling the Losties' destinies. Who's the man behind the curtain pulling the strings? Jacob? Ben? The black smoke monster? Damon and Carlton? Or perhaps what John Locke would call straight-up fate? Whatever the culprit, it's clear these people have very little control over much of anything at all. Bonus, though: Harold Perrineau now has some nice job security. Congrats, H.P.!
Mr. Friendly's Having a Gay Ol' Time: Nearly two years after Damon teased, "There is a gay character on the island," we now have his identity confirmed: Tom Friendly himself! He has a male lover! And my, does Mr. Friendly know how to live the refined life when he's not stepping into hillbilly overalls and fake beards to kidnap 10-year-old boys. Sure beats Dharma peanut butter!
Wacky and Probably Wrong Theory of the Day: Did you notice that Walt's grandma sure looked a whole lot like the woman who asked Miles to get rid of her grandon's ghost in the second episode of the season? And didn't Walt look a whole lot like Casper the freaky ghost as he peered from the window above? According to IMDb, Michael's mom/Walt's grandma has appeared in only one episode of Lost. But according to IMDb, my mom was a costume designer for Charlie's Angels, my dad was a janitor for Merv Griffin and I've appeared multiple times on Howard Stern (wrong, wrong, and oh yeah, wrong), so it's possible Ben is writing that site.
Memory of the Day: Remember when I said we'd see a little less of Matthew Fox this season? Just checking.
Quote of the Day: "How was your trip? I figure flying can't be too much fun for you." Bwahahaha. I still freak out flying to Hawaii. Speaking of…
What Lies Ahead
Claire Is in Trouble: Not only do we know that baby Aaron makes it off the island and she does not, but the promos clearly spell out trouble for the fair-haired mamacita. "The war," as Ben calls it, seems to have begun. (Then again, if Ben the pathological liar calls it a war it's probably more of a bake-off.)
Lost Is Taking a Minibreak: When it returns April 24, we get an episode written by Buffy alum Drew Goddard, who teased at tonight's Buffy Paley event that the episode is "maybe my favorite thing I've done on Lost, and I've been lucky with all the episodes I've gotten so far." Sounds promising, right?
Also…
I'm Heading to the Lost Set Next Week! If you have questions for the Losties, please take a moment to email them to me. I won't be chatting with everyone, but I will be tracking down whomever I can, and you know I aim to serve! So send those Q's in, por favor.
Check back a little later tomorrow for an exclusive Q&A with Karl himself, Blake Bashoff, who'll be reaching out from the other side, God rest his soul.