What If Michael Bay Wrote The Dark Knight?
“Bruce: We hack the internet.
Alfred: Hack the internet?
Bruce: Yes, hack the internet.
General: No one’s ever hacked the internet before.
Bruce: Well, there’s a first time for everything.
General: Okay, I like it. But which one of the internets do we hack?
Bruce: All of them.”
Sound like a Michael Bay film? Wait, there’s more!
“We pan to a beautiful woman: platinum blonde with a huge rack. She is the hottest woman in the world, but she wears glasses because she is also the smartest woman in the world.”
That is a description of Rachel Dawes, played by Maggie Gyllenhaal in the soon to be released Dark Knight. These golden nuggets of humour come from Michael Bay’s version of The Dark Knight…which Michael Bay did not write. Spill.com did. Although, they do capture the spirit of a Michael Bay film. Lots of nonsense, good looking females and explosions. Oh and cars.
To read the script by ‘Michael Bay’ click here!
Thanks to Steve for the tip!
Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz: Pizza Date
Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz: Pizza Date
When a woman is pregnant, there is no telling what kinds of food she’ll crave day-to-day. And it looks like Ashlee Simpson had pizza on the brain yesterday (July 2).
The “Little Miss Obsessive” songstress was spotted with her new husband Pete Wentz on their way to their local California Pizza Kitchen in Los Angeles.
And Ashlee was looking hippie-chic in a strapless orange printed dress, showing off that growing baby bump of hers. Meanwhile her Fall Out Boy beau opted for a white t-shirt, distressed jeans, and a pair of black frame glasses completed by a black knit hat.
The Wentz-Simpsons have been overall very quiet regarding their expanding family. But rumor has it that they’ll be welcoming a baby boy into the world later this fall.
Joel Madden: Trying Too Hard?
Well, at least the fish on Joel Madden’s hat was apropos.
Maybe it’s just us, but the Good Charlotte frontman’s outfit at the grand opening of the SugarFish by Sushi Nozawa restaurant in Marina del Rey Monday night leaves a lot to be desired.
Yes, we know, Joel’s a so-called rocker and obviously feels he has the whole “I don’t care how I look, even though I really do” image to maintain.
But seriously, what’s up with wearing a Planet of the Apes-inspired hoodie to the christening of a high-end restaurant? It’s sushi, not Subway.
While we certainly don’t expect a suit, or even a buttoned-down shirt, it would just be nice if the hipster thing got toned down every now and then.
As for Nicole Richie’s oversized, Charles Nelson Reilly glasses? Don’t get us started.
Leona Lewis Isn’t Looking for Trouble
Leona Lewis may be looking a bit sexed up on the new cover of Blender, but she’s no bad girl in the making.
In fact, the “Bleeding Love” hitmaker doesn’t smoke, drink or wear leather or diamonds.
“When I was 18, I had a few glasses of Alcopopthey’re bubblegummy drinks with a bit of alcoholand it was gross,” Lewis says. “I’ve tasted champagne, which is gross. And I tasted wine, which I don’t like. I might be quite boring.”
Boring, Ms. Lewis, has never looked so good.