Nine recordings by TV stars that should have never happened
In this business we call show, there are those people who never let us forget that they are involved to make money. Luckily, those people often occupy the off camera part of the business and let the performers worry about making art. Meanwhile, the business types sit back and try to think up ways they can make more money off of the performers. One of the most insidious ways is to appeal to the star’s ego and convince them to make a recording. What follows are some of the best — and by “best,” I mean “WTF?”
Phyllis Diller
“You’re Different“
Most people today recognize he name Phyllis Diller but have no idea why she was famous, however if they watch this clip, they can be sure that it isn’t for singing.
David Hasselhoff
“Hooked on a Feeling”
There is a certain euphoric feeling you only get after watching The Hoff sing this song about twenty or thirty times. It’s a feeling that makes you think, “Gee, he clearly doesn’t care that he looks completely idiotic, so I guess I shouldn’t be so worried out my own shortcomings.
Scott Baio
“Wanted for Love“
Even as a young man, I was able to discern that Baio had no vocal talent whatsoever. How else could he make Erin Moran sound like a musical prodigy? To this day, I am convinced that the reason Joanie Loves Chachi failed was because people couldn’t sit through the theme song every week.
John Schneider
“I’ve Been Around Enough to Know”
The problem with this song isn’t that Schneider has a bad voice, it’s actually pretty good. However, I have to ask myself “Does the world really need another lame country song?” I will give Schneider credit for doing a country song and not trying something different, like showtunes.
Lorne Greene
“Ringo”
After his version of the Bonanza theme song became a hit, Greene decided he would try his hand at another countrified classic. This song is perfect if you have trouble falling asleep at night.
Jack Webb
“Try a Little Tenderness“
This is on of my all-time favorites. It’s a credit to the ego of Webb that he thought people were so in love with his voice that they would actually listen to him recite the lyrics. The no-nonsense, matter-of-fact way he instructs men to pay attention to their women definitley sends mixed signals.
Telly Savalas
“You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling”
Hard as it is to believe, there were once people on this planet who considered Savalas a sex symbol. Luckily, most of them are dead now. The good news is that wherever they are, Savalas is right there, serenading them with this classic.
Leonard Nimoy
“Ballad of Bilbo Baggins”
This song is actually quite famous in the annals of celebrity songs. The great part is that on Nimoy’s album, “The Two Sides of Leonard Nimoy,” he was forced to do a bunch of corny novelty songs as Spock. This song, however, is one that he CHOSE to do.
Don Johnson
“Heartbeat”
What can be said about Johnson’s ill-advised musical venture that hadn’t been said about Philip Michael Thomas’ crappy record that was released only a few years earlier? I guess we should feel lucky that Zito and Switek never put out a record.