Lynda Carter’s Wonderful Recovery
On television, she had an invisible jet, a lasso of truth and indestructible silver bracelets, but in real life, Wonder Woman Lynda Carter has her own secret weapon: sobriety.
The 56-year-old actress is opening up about her longtime battle with the bottle and 10 years of sober living.
“I needed help,” Carter told The Insider, explaining she was “brilliant” at hiding her alcoholism. “I begged God in heaven to help me figure this out.”
She said she finally entered rehab in Washington, D.C. after her husband, attorney Robert Altman, pleaded with her to stop drinking for the sake of their family. The couple married in 1984 and have two children, Jamie, 20, and Jessica, 17.
Now, 10 years sober, the former Miss World USA hopes she is “a stellar human being” who enriches the life of her family and friends.
Nine biggest Super Friends mysteries - VIDEO
Do not adjust your web browser. You are now entering the Retro Squad, where we are reviewing past episodes of classic TV shows.
Even when I was a little kid, there were some things about the Super Friends (or Superfriends or Superamigos, or whatever they were calling it) that didn’t sit right with me. Maybe it was because the confluence of superpowers all in one place just boggled my young mind. Maybe it was the mysterious change from Wendy and Marvin to the Wonder Twins that made me scratch my tiny noggin. Not sure. But those mysteries continue to fascinate me, even into adulthood. It’s just that those mysteries are more sophisticated:
1. How did the Super Friends have time to hang out at the Hall of Justice? Every one of the SFs lived in different parts of the country: Batman and Robin were in Gotham City, for instance. So, did B&R commute from Gotham to Metropolis a few times per week? Did they use the Bat Plane or the Batmobile most of the time? Did they claim the mileage on their taxes?
2. Come to think of it, why was the HOJ in Metropolis? Did all of the Justice League just give in to some (pretty forceful) arm twisting from Superman? Did Supe consider how much of a pain in the ass it was going to be for the rest of the SFs to get to the HOJ? I mean, even in the Seventies, fuel for Wonder Woman’s invisible jet wasn’t that cheap. Almost every one of the other SFs were mere mortals with a particular power, which means they had to use a mechanical method of transport: Batman had a car, plane and motorcycle; WW had that plane; Aquaman swam; Green Lantern and Black Falcon Vulcan… walked (we never really know, do we?).
Superman, however, could instantly fly to wherever he needed, no plane or helicopter or other vehicle required. Why did he require everyone to come to him? Perhaps they didn’t like to speak up at the meetings.
3. Why did the SFs always seem to be standing around waiting for the computer to pop up with a problem? After all, there had to have been disasters to avert and evil people to defeat all over the planet. You’d think that the only person manning the computer at the HOJ would have been a dispatcher of sorts, letting the SFs know what’s going on by radio. But it seemed like we saw a lot of the SFs just standing around or playing chess while chaos was going on. For a bunch of superheroes, they weren’t a very proactive group, were they?
4. Did the SFs get a tax break on the Hall Of Justice? That’s an awfully big complex there, and it was right in the middle of Metropolis. Did the government own it and lend it to the Justice League? Or did Superman own it and lease it out to his Justice League LLC? Since the SFs never got paid for their work, I can’t see how they ever paid property taxes on the place. Heck, I don’t even know how they paid for maintenance; that huge computer must have blown a vacuum tube at least once a month.
5. Why didn’t we ever see the SFs’ alter egos? Wasn’t the whole point about all of these characters that they had to live life every day trying to shield their powers, only to unleash them when disaster calls? If you just watched the Super Friends, you’d never know that Superman was Clark Kent, Wonder Woman was Diana Prince, Batman was Bruce Wayne and Green Lantern was … whoever he was at the time (he’s had a number of alter egos).
6. Did the Wonder Twins ever try changing into something else? Zan was always a form of water. Jayna was always some sort of animal. Was this something that they just knew to do from birth? Or did they at one time try to turn into something else and just failed? Did Zan try to be a ring of fire, or Zayna be a machine gun? I always wondered why they limited their transformation possibilities so much. Seems like a lack of ambition to me. Pheh. Typical teenagers.
(By the way, one of my favoirte Scrubs jokes is when J.D. and Turk do their Wonder Twins thing and Zach Braff ad-libs “form of… an ice menorah!”)
7. Were Penguin and The Joker too good for the Legion of Doom? These are Batman’s two most vexing enemies. Yet they only made occasional appearances on the Super Friends, and almost never with the Legion of Doom. The only one of Batman’s enemies that made it was The Riddler. It makes me wonder why. Did Joker and Penguin look down on the LOD? Maybe they thought their plots were pointless and silly. Or maybe they thought that meeting in a swamp was de classe. Not sure. Maybe the LOD didn’t like them.
8. Didn’t the EPA go after the Legion of Doom for having their HQ in a swamp? Every time that Darth Vader-looking thing rose out of the swamp, I wondered how many birds were being scattered, how many alligators would fall off the roof, and just how many rare orchids were torn to pieces. OK, I never worried about any of that. But still, it makes you wonder why the government, even if they couldn’t snag any of the LOD on their various crimes, couldn’t have at least gotten them for building in a designated wetlands region.
9. Why didn’t anyone have pants? Didn’t it get cold in some of the places where the SFs and their enemies fought it out? I mean, look at what Wonder Woman had to wear … a bodice, a pair of boots and some bracelets! Didn’t anyone get cold?
Oh, and the LOD was even worse, as this old ad from the Cartoon Network points out:
Secondary Super Friends characters had superior powers
We are all so familiar with the main Super Friends, not to mention their powers. Superman, with his x-ray vision, super strength, and all that flying and stuff. Batman, pretty much powerless, but with a darned cool toolbelt and a car second only to Kitt. Wonder Woman, complete with magic lasso of truth and invisible jet.
These Super Friends ran the show over at the Hall of Justice, while the secondary heroes played second fiddle. But why? Honestly, I think some of the secondary heroes had the superior powers and they probably would have kicked the pants off of some of the main Super Friends. So why did they remain secondary characters? Let’s take a closer look at their powers ….
Samurai
Besides being able to turn into a tornado and set himself on fire, Samurai can become invisible. Yes, that’s cool and all, but if your enemy cannot see you, how can they defeat you? I’m pretty sure the Legion of Doom would be mighty confused by this, as would most of the super heroes.
Apache Chief
He grows big. Really big. In fact, there are no known limits to his hugeness. Thanks to a little magic dust, he can increase in size whenever he says “Inyuk-chuk.” So, if you can grow limitlessly, how can anything defeat you? If you can grown big enough to squash your enemy like a bug, aren’t you top dog? Just a question….
Firestorm
Actually the combination of one man’s body and another man’s mind, Firestorm can transform anything non-organic into whatever he wants it to be. One of my favorite Firestorm moments (probably because it cracks up my son so much) is when he changes some thieves’ getaway vehicle into a bathtub, thwarting their escape. So if Firestorm could change weapons and vehicles into something inert, then he’s seemingly more powerful than many of the Super Friends who would be threatened by those things.
Zan and Jayna, the Wonder Twins
I purport that if these two were ever allowed to really fight crime, they’d have some unlimited potential. Sure, they were young and goofy and pretty much comic relief with their monkey pet, Gleek. Zan, who can change into anything water, could wipe out the world with a giant flood. Maybe a little less cool is Jayna’s ability to turn into any animal, because animals are vulnerable. Their biggest weakness is that they need each other to use their powers, but as long as they are together, Zan could kick some serious bad guy butt.
Black Vulcan
Now here’s an interesting fact about Black Vulcan: he’s the only Super Friends character who was not a comic book character, because the show’s creators and Black Vulcan’s creator just couldn’t get along. What’s really notable, though, is that the dude could shoot lightning from his hands, travel at the speed of light, and go back in time. Beats the heck out of a Baterang, if you ask me …
El Dorado
Reading minds, teleportation, creating illusions, and that respectable shooting-lasers-from-eyes thing (shared with none other than Superman) — how could anyone conquer this guy? When threatened, he could teleport. If he didn’t have time for that, he’d simply boggle your mind with a confusing illusion or two. Heck, he could have created the illusion that he was in charge of the Hall of Justice.
What say you, readers? Have these secondary Super Friends been relegated to second fiddle unfairly?