Super Skank Wednesday: Dina, Denise, Byata, & Rece
Welcome to Super Skank Wednesday. This is where I celebrate the awesomely skanky people on the following shows: Miss Rap Supreme, I Love Money, Charm School, New York Goes to Hollywood, and The Surreal Life. Basically, I’ll discuss the skankalicious shows that make VH1 the network it is today.
Notice how I’ve changed my introduction? I almost added Living Lohan and Denise Richards: It’s Complicated but I realized that would compromise my integrity. I did, however, watch both of those shows Sunday night. I’ll tell you about them and the finale of Miss Rap Supreme after the jump.
Last week I said I had no interest in watching Denise Richards: It’s Complicated because Denise is too bland. Well, my suspicions were confirmed and Denise Richards is officially the most unexciting person on the planet. She’s not even interesting enough to hate (like Dina Lohan–but I’ll get to that later). She picked up dog poop, had a meeting with Joel Silver about changing her image, and posed for Self magazine. Oh, and she made her Dad get a spray tan (bless his heart but he’s not half as interesting as Kathy Griffin’s parents on My Life on the D-List). It’s like one of the producers said, “Do something interesting, Denise.” And her best idea was to torture her dad with a spray tan.
And, by the way, it’s still not complicated. They should make Denise do word problems. Now that would be complicated.
Living Lohan came on right after Denise Richards: It’s Complicated. And now I have confirmation that Dina Lohan is the dark lord Sauron. I got a half-hour of proof that she is working her evil on the Middle Earth that is Long Island, New York. The show is “supposed” to be about Ali’s music career–kind of like that stupid Ashlee Simpson Show a while back. Remember the theme song?
And now that song will haunt me all day. But back to Living Lohan on Long Island. While the show is meant to be about Ali, the real reason to tune in is obviously the Nana Dina Lohan. Last night, Ali was teased by some girls at school (”Hey Ali, you gonna go to rehab like Lindsay?” and “Hey Ali, you gonna get the Hep like Lindsay?” Just kidding. No one said that second one.) and Dina’s solution is take Ali to Harlem to Impact Repertory Theatre, “one of the oldest Black non-for-profit theatres in New York City” because Ali needs a place to work out her frustrations and express herself creatively. Kudos to Impact for using Dina’s big idea to their advantage and get a promo out of the visit. Clearly, they do important and positive work.
I was going to find a clip of Living Lohan but I stumbled upon this gem from Tracey Ullman:
Lastly, there’s the finale of Miss Rap Supreme. After hating Byata for the past four or five episodes, I really liked her last night. I always thought she had talent; I just found her completely annoying. And I found the drama between Byata and Chiba a little contrived. But last night when Byata sang off the top of her head in front of Will.i.am., I was blown away. I couldn’t believe she just made that up. Her performances at the end were good too.
But Byata’s singing and rapping wasn’t enough to beat Rece Steele (B-X, Holla!) Rece’s final performance was amazing. I’m glad they gave it to her. And she looked so grateful for the prize money and title.
In general, Miss Rap Supreme was not up to par with other VH1 skankalicious fare. If I had to rate it on a scale of one to ten (ten being the first season of Rock of Love or the second season of Flavor of Love and one being MTV’s Made), I’d give it a three. MRS left much to be desired in the drama department. And I probably wouldn’t have watched it after about episode four, but it’s the beginning of the summer and nothing else is on.
That’s all for this week. I think next time I’ll put together another list. I enjoy celebrating the trashtastic shows of yesteryear.
VH1 gives Scream Queens the green light
This is news that leaves me somewhat torn. On the one hand, I really like horror movies, and by extension, I’m pretty fond of scream queens. On the other hand, just hearing about this show calls to mind the train wreck that was E!’s Kill Reality, and that isn’t a happy memory. I suppose it also sounds a lot like Joel Silver’s Next Action Star, which wasn’t all bad. But then, I might just be trying to talk myself into liking it because that picture of Lexa Doig (Jason X) is staring at me.
The new show will gather ten unknown actresses to compete for a role in a horror movie from Lionsgate Films. The contestants will compete in challenges and be judged by an as yet unnamed director. I’m guessing there will be blood, and possibly chainsaws. The drawback is that it’s not on HBO or Showtime, so despite having an acting coach on hand, these girls are all going to be cheated out of that valuable topless-in-the-steamy-locker-room training. I feel for them.
The series is set to premiere in the fall and play out over eight hour long episodes. My expectations are low, but there is just enough there to get me to tune in at least once.
Guy Richie Directing Sherlock Holmes for Warner Bros.
Well, it looks like Guy Ritchie (right) and Joel Silver’s Sgt. Rock will have to wait. Ritchie will direct Sherlock Holmes for Warner Bros., an adaptation of producer Lionel Wigram’s upcoming comic book. Neil Marshall was previously attached to helm, and WB has said that the film will have the same realism and seriousness as Batman Begins. Mirroring our modern man (yeah, right), this iteration of Holmes will focus more on the character’s formidable pugilism, swordsmanship (hello, ladies) and an appetite for, yep, adventure. Dan Lin (The Departed, 10,000 BC, Terminator 4) will co-produce.
Created by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle in the 19th Century, some of the British detective’s “Victorian stuffiness” will be nixed for the 2010 film. Whether this means no appearance by Holmes’s silly hat, monocled fashion, or his signature pipe was not specified. Dr. John H. Watson will remain Holmes’s affable sidekick. Let’s hope Watson’s not reenvisioned as a bitchin’ kite-surfer with an addiction to narcotics Red Bull.
Ritchie is clearly untested when it comes to studio blockbusters, and I wonder how much of his frenetic style will transfer over. But it sounds like a cool project for him and I’m glad it’s a Brit in the director’s chair. And a cool movie for audiences too, as long as the dizzying sleuth-dom isn’t overshadowed by madcap stunts a la a Brosnan Bond or with rapper actors. I’ve always wanted to see DDL play Holmes (who wouldn’t), and I’m really curious to see who lands the two main roles here. Sounds like WB will be “casting up,” which always brightens the day at Slashfilm.
New showrunner for Moonlight
The CBS freshman drama Moonlight has had its share of difficulties. Add to it one more as the showrunner and executive producer Chip Johannessen has decided to depart the series.
The show’s writing team and executive producer Joel Silver will collectively run the show until a replacement for Mr. Johannessen has been found. Four additional episodes of the show have been ordered for this season.
Moonlight has shown some promise for CBS and was kept on the air during the writer’s strike. The premise involves a vampire detective who falls for a mortal woman.
Despite behind-the-scenes drama, CBS president Les Moonves has stated the show will likely be picked up for a second season. I suppose that’s a good thing, but I remember this show when it was called Angel. I’m not the first person to notice this. The creators obviously did when they hired Angel co-creator David Greenwalt to run the show and he subsequently left it.