Dana Delany back on Wisteria Lane next season
We learned yesterday that ABC’s Desperate Housewives will be back for season five next fall, in its same time-slot of Sunday at 9 p.m. I’m sure creator Marc Cherry has stocked up on Tums in the past few years, as the series waffled between must-see and mediocrity. Right now, it’s somewhere in the middle, although I’ve made a point to watch every week, so that says something right there.
ET Online is breaking news tonight that Dana Delany will be returning to the series in the fall. Although no storyline has been as compelling as the murder intrigue that super-charged season one, the mystery surrounding Delany’s Katherine Mayfair this season has been mildly interesting.
We know it has something to do with her daughter, Dylan (Lyndsy Fonseca) and ex-husband, Wayne (Gary Cole), who struck up a relationship with Dylan in recent weeks. I must admit, I’m curious enough to make sure the DVR records when the season finale rolls around.
Delany told ET Online today that although her mystery will be solved in the finale (and in Sunday’s episode, Katherine mentioned selling the house and moving away), her character will indeed be back next season. I’ve been a big fan of Delany’s since she played Nurse Colleen McMurphy on China Beach in the 1990s. She’s starred in numerous movies over the years and currently has four feature films in the works.
In recent years, she’s also voiced the part of Lois Lane in the animated Justice League and Batman series. Let’s face it, once you’ve been Lois Lane, everything else is just secondary.
This is also a good place to mention a six degrees thing between Delany and Housewives co-star Teri Hatcher, who played the part of Lois Lane in the 1990s TV series, Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman.
Hmmm…any other Superman connections among the Housewives?
Dirt: In Lieu of Flowers (season finale)
(S02E07) “Death. I get it. It’s guaranteed. I understand that. But why does it seem that everybody is so oblivious to the fact that they’re swimming in deep water until they drown?” - Lucy
That’s a really unfortunate quote. And to be dropped in the middle of the season (and potential series) finale? Ouch. Dirt really could be so much better and unfortunately, it just isn’t. The problem is, I’m not so sure the writers, producers, and execs at FX realize it. Think about it. This was supposed to a normal 13 episode season. In my opinion, only one out of the seven episodes that got made was worth my time. At that rate, the second half of the season wouldn’t have been much better. But no one stepped in and nothing changed. You would think, that after the mediocrity of the first couple of episodes, things would have started to look up. They never did.
With that being said, perhaps it’s better that the strike cut production short. As a finale, this wasn’t the worst episode and it wasn’t the best. But, it was a logical ending that wrapped up some loose ends. Not all, but some. Had the season gone on, who knows what sort of train wreck the actual finale would have been. If FX is smart, Dirt is done.
Let’s break it down:
- Brent Barrow is dead - Lucy’s number one nemesis at DirtNow croaked at the end of last week’s episode, when a drugged up Brent parked his new car in the garage and then fell asleep without killing the engine. With Brent gone, and Lucy’s understanding with the magazine’s new owner, Adam, her position as editor-in-chief is secure. So there’s no room for conflict there. (After landing a role on 24, I imagine Jeffrey Nordling asked to be written out of the show.)
- Lucy’s family troubles have hit a stalemate - In a Kayne-esque twist, Lucy’s mother died during a botched plastic surgery operation. If you recall, Lucy and her mother didn’t get along so well in season one. With her passing, Lucy no longer has to worry about any judgmental maternal presence. Plus, Leo is back! Not so fast. The fact that he killed Julia Mallory wasn’t addressed once. To top it off, he now seems to get along great with his sister. Poor choices on both accounts. I’m willing forgive the new “best buds” dynamic between the siblings. But c’mon — he killed a major season one character when he ran her over. You can’t ignore that. Well you can, but you shouldn’t.
- Farber and Willa are history - You knew it was coming. She stabbed him in the back, dug through his phone, and ran a story that got him in trouble with a friend. He has morals and she doesn’t. Based on Brent’s sex tape, we know Willa has no problem “playing” Lucy and this was definitely a Lucy move. I’m not so sure that them getting back together is the payoff though. I think the break-up was. The business is cut-throat, there will always be casualties, and we move on. Not much else to say.
- Don is better - Half the fun of season one was seeing what crazy shit Don would do next because of his illness. Talking cats, words floating through the air, and his zany episode re-caps. Now that he’s on medication, he’s normal. He’s developed values, stands up for himself, and took an interest in his brother’s life. He knows what’s right and wrong, understands feelings, and puts the interests of other people (like Sharlee) before Lucy’s. Plus, Lucy admitted that she’s glad Don is now well enough to stand up to her. So what else is there to tell?
- Lucy and Holt are happy together - This one is simple. Half the tension of this show surrounded their awkward courtship. Now they’re an item and Lucy is willing to go public with it at Holt’s request. Besides the expected backlash (”I can’t believe he’d date that tabloid bitch!”), this just became a non-story.
If the show does go on, it won’t be because of the characters. It’ll be because there’s an endless supply of celebrity hijinks to play with. Everyday there are new stories to tweak. This episode had a take on Kirstie Alley and child stars who are in the closet. We know these stories. The reason season one was so good is the celeb spoofs were secondary to the superb main plot, most of which has now been resolved. So unless there’s something else we don’t know about Lucy, Don, and the DirtNow gang, I’m not so sure I want US Weekly and InTouch just regurgitated to me.
American Idol: Miami Auditions
(S07E06) “We need someone to check in this cup,” Simon about Paula’s cup after she wandered around aimlessly singing “lalala” before hugging a contestant and telling him he’s through to Hollywood.
It looks like Idol may have listened to me; I always knew I had that kind of pull. What made last night’s episode such an improvement on the season thus far was continued tonight. We spent a lot less time on pointless back stories and a lot more time on the singing. In all honesty, I bet these changes really are in response to the feedback and reviews the show’s been getting this year so far. After all, the footage is already shot, so how hard would it be to do some last minute editing before it goes to air.
I say this because the change in tone and presentation of the show from last week to this week is so abrupt. Whereas last week there seemed to be a focus on the bizarre, horrible and nasty (culminating in the horrid Charleston episode where we saw just a handful of talent amidst a sea of crap); this week is more about seeing a lot of singing and a lot more of the good singers. Again we only had seventeen people make it through, but we got to see eight of them.
DELUDED GIRLS SING JANIS JOPLIN
Before we get to the good singers, apparently the sun was getting to some of the contestants. Julie Dubela (16, Stratham, NH) was a Top 20 Finalist on American Junior (you remember that awful AI rip off with kids) when she was 12 and thinks that makes her one of the greatest singers who ever lived. “Music is my life. This is my dream. I’m not a quitter. I don’t believe in mediocrity” she said before going in to face the judges. Ironically, mediocrity is what she had to offer.
She takes on Janis Joplin (because anyone can sing Janis, right?) and overperformed the hell out of “Me and Bobby McGee.” Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure if she stood up in her high school auditorium and sang, she’d get loud cheers, but this is the big show, baby! Simon had to interrupt her. “Julie, have you ever been called precocious?” “Precocious…Umm, what does that mean?”
But alas, Julie was not alone. No, Shannon McGough (18, Okeechobee, FL) also is the best singer who ever lived and also has the chops to take on Janis Joplin. I don’t know if anybody could ever be as impressed with Shannon as Shannon is. Certainly the judges weren’t. See, Shannon has won tons of awards, including Okeechobee Idol (oh yeah, baby!). But the judges aren’t impressed, and like her song she turns into a big “Cry Baby.” “Wow! I’ve never had somebody tell me that I sing bad before. It’s like crazy to me.” She never stops marveling at the fact that somebody could possibly say something negative about her singing. I’d say she and Julie could be BFFs but they’d probably wind up killing one another. There’s only room for one at the top of “Crazy-Girl Mountain.” Her mother said, “She’s a good singer. She’s won everything.” She didn’t win American Idol, mom. So make that almost everything.
HAPPY SEXY TIME
Other than these two and the last audition of the episode, everybody else we spent any time with made it through. See what I said about this new positive attitude on the Idol. Maybe they were inspired by the joy of Ghaleb Emachah (27, Miami, FL). He’s originally from Venezuela, with the thick accent to prove it, but he never stops laughing and dancing throughout. Simon can’t get past his heavily accented version of Marc Anthony’s “You Sang to Me.” But Paula and Randy like his vocals and put him through.
This, however, is the audition that will launch the flamewars about how Paula was drunk in Miami (maybe she was in the car napping with Tony LaRussa during spring training). I go back and forth. She seemed a little spacey, but was also just getting away from Simon. The “lalala” before she went up to Ghaleb, gave him a yes and a hug and told him to work on his accent–the whole thing was a little odd.
The good times continued as two twenty-year-olds from Jacksonville, Florida stormed the auditions. Yes, they’re bigger black women and the Idol had to work in a few fat jabs at them, but they are a whirlwind of joy and happiness. Brittany Wescott likes skinny boys, like Ryan Seacrest and Simon Cowell while her best friend Corliss Smith likes some meat on her men, like our own Randy Jackson.
So, Simon and Paula set Corliss up to sing her audition directly to Randy and she jazzes it up with Al Jarreau’s “Take Five.” There are some pitch problems throughout, but she’s still infectious. Brittany actually outsings her a bit when she sings Mary Wells’ “My Guy” to Simon. Paula is so impressed with how well they sang to the boys that she joins them in passing the girls to Hollywood. Having to squeeze in one last fat joke, Simon advised them to use “both doors,” rather than the “other door” mantra of prior seasons.
THE JUDGES LIKED THEM
Whether it was the feel good vibe from Ghaleb, Brittany and Corliss or whether they all started sharing Paula’s cup, I don’t know, but they were passing through some people that I didn’t think were really all that great. People were getting through with pitch problems. People like Suzanne Toon (21, Clearwater, FL) who missed more notes of Bonnie Raitt’s “I Can’t Make You Love Me.” Of course, she’s the token hard luck story of the episode. A single mom who gave up performing arts at 18 when her daughter was born. “I’m just sick of struggling really. And it would really mean a lot to me to give my daughter more than I had and what I can give now.” Paula thought she had a sexiness to it. “You become more attractive when you sing.” At least Randy acknowledges that her pitch was all over the place, but they’re just feeling too good to hold her back.
Natashia Blach, 29, Fort Collins, CO - “At Last,” Etta James
Ilsy Lorena Pinot, 28, Miami, FL - “Unfaithful,” Rihanna
I hate to say it, but I liked both Ilsy and Natashia better than Suzanne above, but I guess they don’t have sad enough stories to get more than a few minutes during a montage of the good singers. I’d recommend accidentally running over your dog on the way to your American Idol audition if you want to get screen time. You can be all weepy and sad and carry a picture of your beloved dog; preferably before you ran over it.
BEST IN SHOW
Let’s count down the three best auditions, Ryan Seacrest American Top 40 style. Coming in at #3, it’s Jasmine Trias Take Two (only better). Ramiele Malubay, (19, Miramar, FL) is a tiny little thing, like a Filipino porcelain doll (she wants to be the first Asian American Idol). The judges spend the first part of her audition talking about how adorable she is. Then the tiny little thing announces she’ll be taking on a huge song with Aretha Franklin’s “Natural Woman.” Her voice is way stronger and more controlled than Jasmin Trias’ was, but her pitch is off in several places. Still, she has a sweetness to her that’s infectious and the makings of a very good vocalist. Simon doesn’t think she’s good enough to get through, but Paula and Randy send her on.
I’m just going to come out and say it. Syesha Mercado’s breasts (20, Miami, FL) were incredibly distracting; Not in a bad way, per se, but they seemed to take on a life of their own. She’s a pretty girl who comes in at #2 this week with another Aretha Franklin number. This time it’s “Think” and she has a big enough voice to handle it. She hit a sour note and had a few pitch problems, but this time the judges are all in agreement and send her on. She also brings her own little sad back story with her in the form of her dad, fresh out of rehab. And we all know how much Idol loves sad little back stories.
Coming in at #1 is Robbie Carrico (25, Melbourne, FL) a former “Boy Band” singer, who’s since moved into the world of rock. He wails on Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Simple Man,” which is a much harder vocal than most people would think. They don’t spend much time on him, but that’s because there’s not much criticism you can give. He may be my new favorite contestant so far this year.
END ON A SOUR NOTE
For some reason, Idol decided to show us all the good singers in the beginning of this week’s episode. That meant things had to end on a downer. There was a montage of bad singers, featuring classic butchering of Whitney, Elton, Aretha and the most nasally performance of Rascal Flatts’ “Bless the Broken Road” I’ve ever heard. I had to go blow my nose during Richard Valles (19, Tampa, FL) audition because I felt stopped up.
Brandon Black, 20, Pompano Beach, FL - “I’ll Make Love to You,” Boyz II Men
The last contestant of the day was a very energetic idiot, I mean, young man. But as the talent appears to have been dried up for awhile by now, the judges have gotten crabby. Brandon Black (20, Pompano Beach, FL) He had an entire prepared routine that wasn’t clever or funny or well performed. When he said he’d sing Boyz II Men’s “I’ll Make Love to You,” to Paula, she said: “What? I beg your pardon!?” He hit fourteen bad notes on the first syllable alone and then took of his jacket so he could really let loose and hit more. Then he went into an original song: “I Am the Next American Idol.” That song is a lie.
Simon told him “The audition was verging on desperation.” Ultimately, Randy and Simon just left Paula sitting there staring at Brandon, who had received no verdict. But it was pretty obvious and Brandon summed it up. “Last on in Miami, and I didn’t make it.”
17 tickets were handed out in all tonight. Next week we go to Atlanta and meet a guy who’s been living in his car for a year.
Stump the King - Wings
I need a little help this week…
“There was an episode of Wings where it was kind of an homage to Casablanca or Dragnet. This was a very funny episode but I don’t know what season or episode. Two lines that may help you out. In the episode they all talk in a monotone voice. Joe (Tim Daly) says at one point “Why the hell am I talking like this”. Also, someone says to Antonio, “You Scrapachi?” mispronouncing his last name. If you can help please do. Regards, Ian McCurdy”
I must admit, I was never a fan of Wings, so this particular episode is a complete mystery to me. If any of you have an idea what the title of this particular episode might be, please chime in.
Quite frankly, I was always surprised at the mediocrity of Wings. The cast was one of the most talented ever. Tim Daly, Steven Weber, Tony Shalhoub, Thomas Haden Church and the rest are all very funny. I am a huge fan of Monk and I have watched Daly & Weber on every canceled series they’ve had since. I’d be interested to hear what it was that made people keep watching.
Now for this week’s question…
What was the name of Alex’s dog?
Excellent work, Tele-Toby. Chopper is the correct answer.