George Carlin dead at 71
Wow. I just got in from a very, very late flight from Denver, and the early-morning newscasts hit me with this wallop: my favorite comedian, George Carlin, passed away last night. On Sunday, he admitted himself into a local Santa Monica hospital, complaining of chest pains, and ended up dying that evening of heart failure. He was 71.
Carlin, of course, is most famous for the 1970s comedy routine “Seven Words You Can Never Say on TV.” It was a bit which not only got radio stations that played it in trouble with the FCC, leading to landmark First Amendment and decency rulings by the Supreme Court, but he was also arrested in Milwaukee on indecency charges after doing the routine on stage there.
During a long and varied career, Carlin went from doing goofy, straight-arrow comedy bits like “The Hippy-Dippy Weatherman” on The Ed Sullivan Show to being the ultimate counterculture spokesman, giving his observations — big and small — about the world on stage and TV. He was one of the first comedians to do hour-long specials on HBO, and his last one, It’s Bad for Ya, was well-received when it aired earlier this year. He also had a self-titled FOX series for a couple of years in the Nineties. So his tie to TV is quite strong.
Sigh. I’m sure Carlin’s fans will have more to say later today and this week. He’ll be sorely missed.
Nineties kids rejoice: GUTS is back
Right about this time of year, most of the true children of the nineties are graduating from four years of Hell and preparing for a lifetime of also Hell, this time sans meal plan and floor meetings. Take a break from job-hunting and crying about student loans, children, and join me in wading in this pool of nostalgia, for your dreams have finally come true. Yes, yes. It looks like Nickelodeon’s totally awesome sports challenge show, GUTS, is coming back.
Now, before people get way too excited, keep two things in mind. First of all, you’re probably way too old to climb the Aggro-Crag with the gazelle-like grace you once had. Secondly, the format has changed a bit. Remember how Double Dare turned into Family Double Dare and it was extra-embarrassing for Daddy when he had to go back to the office on Monday with Gak in his hair, nineties kid I’m pretending to talk to? Well, prepare for more of that, because this resurrection will be called My Family’s Got GUTS and will air this fall on Nick at Nite. On the show, three teams of two parents and two kids will face off in four different sports-inspired challenges. I hear the promise of it being humiliating for all involved, which is why I fully intend to watch.
Since I’m sure Mike O’Malley is still busy doing sitcoms I don’t like, the show is searching for a host to oversee the challenges, which will take place at Universal Studios Florida. No word on whether or not they will find another adorable English woman to put on an ill-fitting referee shirt and blow a whistle every once in a while.
That’s all the 90s news for now, kids. Now, go cut that hair and find a job. Seriously, eating Top Ramen everyday outside of a dorm room environment isn’t thrifty, it’s sad.
How I Met Your Mother: Sandcastles in the Sand
(S03E16) Bless the peapickin’ little hearts of Carter Bays and Craig Thomas. All week, they’ve been setting us up, telling us about the return of Robin Sparkles, saying that we were going to get an episode full of eighties and nineties goodness, complete with James Van Der Beek, Tiffany, and Alan Thicke. We even got a video (full video is after the end of the review) as a taste.
But all of it was a ruse. A week-long ruse to distract us from realizing what was really going to happen in this episode. Since I don’t want to spoil it for anyone, come with me to the after-jump portion of our review and then we can talk.
Holy living crap! Barney and Robin finally hooked up!
We knew this was coming… kinda. There were always signs that the two of them had some sort of attraction to each other. Barney’s advances, as you’d expect, were obvious. But you saw Robin briefly consider going with Barn as recently as a couple of weeks ago, when he whispered in her ear and she giggled a ’no’ when asked if it affected her (Robin giggles when she lies). And, the two of them had shared that certain alpha-male temperament. So, this was inevitable. But… not this week, and not how it happened.
Yes, we’ve seen a sympathetic Barney before. And calling Robin the second most awesome person he’s ever known (besides the person in the mirror) is one of the most sympathetic things I’ve ever heard Barney say. But when they go back to Robin’s place and he nervously asked if he could “put it in,” we all knew he was talking about the video. So even that obvious gag was a diversion, because after they watched “Sandcastles in the Sand” over and over, making jokes about how it could be a tampon commercial if it was recut properly, all of a sudden, they’re all over each other. And all seems right with the universe. Nice job, Carter and Craig>
The rest of the episode had its moments, but it was only OK. I get the concept of “Revertigo,” even if Ted doesn’t accept the catchy name Marshall gave it. I mean, I act like a dopey college kid when I see my college friends, so it’s not like the idea isn’t universal. The funniest case of revertigo was Lily’s; she talks street when she’s around her friend Michelle. The funny thing is, Michelle, who’s in the middle of her dissertation at Columbia, also has revertigo, as Lily brings the “you go, girlfriend” out of her too. Who knew?
Van Der Beek plays a pretty good loser, doesn’t he? Balding, chubby, really into his band and water slide job (which Marshall would have envied if the park had a wave pool). It was odd to see Robin, the gal who seems to have her act together most of the time, melt in the presence of this goober. But it was also pretty funny, especially when she was twirling her hair and acting all silly in his presence. She even lugged all his instruments back to that crappy wood-paneled van, just like she did in the nineties. But she lost out Louise Marsh again… there’s no way she can get a “Jacuzze” in that apartment; it’s just too small.
More fun stuff:
- Robin playing Simon’s song “Murder Train” over the Puppy Corner segment. At least it led to more adoptions…
- M&L taking the role of Robin’s parents, complete with Robin threatening to “go all the way” with Simon.
- The series of Canadian jokes, most of which we didn’t hear because Old Ted fast-forwarded through most of them. Barney asking “did you give him the ’O, Canada’ face?” is the Best Barneyism of the week.
- Though Lily’s line that “he’s not that Inuit” was probably the best one.
- Simon’s band was named The Foreskins… because there are four of them and they play shirtless. It was a very groinal night on CBS, by the way; I heard the word “balls” twice within the span of three minutes as Two and a Half Men ended and Rules of Engagement started.
- “He’s red province! He’s from the deep North!” God, I love this show’s Canada jokes.
- Since Cobie Smulders is from Vancouver, her cartoonish Canadian accent from her youth sounds believable. Van Der Beek, who was born in Connecticut, sounded like a bad version of the McKenzie Brothers.
- “Summer in Canada is like the last week of July,” according to Robin. It leads to a lot of short relationships.
Of course, we can go over the video — Robin Sparkles’ “big artistic follow-up” to “Let’s Go to the Mall” — but that might be a whole post by itself, between the reference to traveling the world from “Alberta to Ontario” to the fact that it was the “best week and a half of my life.” It was the funniest part of the episode, but in light of what happened at the end, seems pretty insignificant now.
Like I said, it wasn’t a great episode, but the story advancement was significant enough that it deserves a pass from HIMYM fans. So, what do you folks think? Do Robin and Barney have a future together? Let me know in the comments.
How I Met Your Mother: Slap Bet
(S02E09) Holy living crap, was that a funny episode or what? I laughed hard during most of it, something that I only seem to do during The Office, Scrubs, and early Simpsons episodes. God, it was all so good: The slap bet, and the resulting payments on both sides; Marshall and Lilly enthusiastically telling each other about every mundane detail of their days; Barney’s “Ohh…” moments; Robin’s elaborate (and classy!) lies about her nonexistent Canadian marriage; the flashback to thirty seconds before the first slap…
… But the best part of the entire episode came at the end, when Robin revealed her dirty little secret, one that she didn’t want anyone to know, including her beloved boyfriend Ted…
… Robin was a teenage pop star in Canada!
Well, you kind of knew the secret was coming, given our on-set coverage of the show and some of the clues from the ads. But the spoilers or semi-spoilers didn’t make it any less funny. In fact, what made the whole thing even better is that whatever you might have been thinking while watching “Robin Sparkles” dance and lip-synch to “Let’s Go to the Mall,” one of the characters likely ended up asking it eventually:
Marshall: This was in the Nineties… why does this look like it’s from 1987?
Robin: Because the Eighties didn’t come to Canada until like ’93.
Barney: Did you have to laugh like that every time?
Robin: (sheepishly) Yes.
Seeing Robin bounce around in that big blond wig, the acid-washed denim jacket and skirt, the leggings, dancing with that robot, saying “aboot” and that a boy has “hair like Gretzky” (or was it “hair like Wayne”?) was soda-snorting funny. I almost wished they showed her coming out of a locker on You Can’t Do That On Television. I’ve got to tell you, if I had to spend a year doing that living on “Orange Julius and Wetzel’s Pretzels,” I’d be afraid of the mall, too.
As great as the video was, the slap bets generated the biggest laughs. Because neither Marshall or Barney was right — Robin was neither married nor did she do porn — they just ended up spending the episode slapping the hell out of each other. And while Barney prefers short, staccato slaps (that make Marshall cry), I prefer Marshall’s method, which is to rear back and put all his weight into the slap, and do so at the least expected times. “Your hands are enormous,” says Barney after the first slap. “Dude, what did you expect?” responds Marshall. “You’ve seen my penis.” And Lilly made a very worthy slap bet commissioner, coming up with the ingenious “ten slaps now or five at any time until eternity” punishment for Barney’s premature eslapulation. Why Barn chose the “five until eternity,” I’ll never know (I agree with Ted and not Robin, I guess).
Hm… what else? Ohhhh…. forgot about the Best Barneyism, which was the fatal “Ohh…” moment, or the moment that a woman says something so heinous to a guy that it completely changes how he sees her (and you respond by saying, “Ohh…”). My favorite? “I just turned 30.” Second best Barneyism was “Porn… wait for it… ography!”
More stuff:
- The mall with the fictional 500th Sharper Image store? Willowbrook Mall, which is a real mall in Wayne, NJ. It also happens to be the “home mall” of the Keller family, as both Rich and myself worked and shopped there in our formative years.
- I liked how, when they flashed back to Robin mentioning “this friend in Canada who got married way too young,” Lilly had her old lighter hairdo. Nice little detail there by the director, or script coordinator, or whoever thinks of these things.
- Marshall’s reason for not ever visiting the Pacific Northwest? He’s afraid of Sasquatch. Or, according to him, not afraid, but always aware.
- Nice to see them turn back to Ted and Robin’s relationship for a week. And I like the fact that the revelation didn’t really turn out to be earth-shattering. Even when we thought for a short time that Robin was married (a “Canadian marriage” that didn’t count, according to Lilly), it wasn’t one of these big dramatic “we were on a break!” moments. Contrast that to Richie and Lina on the episode of The Class that followed this and you’ll see how differently this was treated.
- You can see the entire video for “Let’s Go to the Mall” at Robin Sparkles’ very own MySpace page.
- Third favorite Barneyism: “It’s slap o’clock.” Fourth favorite: “It’s obvious that their universal health system doesn’t cover breast implants.”
I think I got everything. I didn’t think the guys could top “Swarely,” but they did in spades. The fact that two hilarious and memorable episodes came so close together shows that HIMYM is on its way to becoming something special. When I can do show reviews almost from memory, that’s a sign that the jokes are sticking in my head. And pretty much this entire review was done from memory. Good job, guys…