30 Days: Same Sex Parenting
Usually the teasers for 30 Days are pretty innocuous. They give an idea about what the topic is and show some reactions from both sides. This week, however, I had the feeling I was going to be pissed.
The part that stuck out the most was the sound byte of Kati saying, “It confirms the option of becoming gay.” A person who would let that comment come out of their mouth is clearly uneducated on a great many things and I hoped that we’d get to see some redeeming qualities in her.
I had to laugh when Spurlock said Kati was going from Leave it to Beaver to My Two Dads. I’ve seen both of those shows many times and while the Beav can certainly be classified as a kid from a “typical American home,” I never got the idea that Paul Reiser and Greg Evigan played gay lovers. I guess I need to rent that show on DVD.
When we meet Kati, she seems reasonable and starts off by making what sounds like a valid point. She believes that two parents of the same sex are ill-equipped to give their child the life lessons that can only be provided by two different sexes. Now, I’m sure we’ll get plenty of comments from experts, and I welcome them, but since I am nothing close to an expert, I have to concede that she may have a point. I have never met a boy raised by two men, but I can picture him growing up with an inordinate amount of insensitivity to women and their specific issues. So far Kati seems harmless.
Dennis and Thomas come across like superheroes. Not only did they adopt four boys who started out as foster kids, but their son Josh has special needs and couldn’t even speak when he came to live with them. All lionizing aside, I am forced to admit that I could never do what they do. I only have two kids and while I’ve known them all their lives, there are still days when I want to drop them a Goodwill bin. That, of course, says more about me than it does them, but I’m sure you get the point.
The tensions begin after dinner on the first night. While it’s clear that Kati is a sweet person and a loving mother, she is very vocal about her religion and how it informs her opinions on many things. Obviously, she interprets the Bible to say that homosexuality is wrong and that’s something I can live with. She has a right to her beliefs, as do we all, but she seems to have a respect for the beliefs of others. The first red flag comes when she is asked if she believes that growing up in foster care without a permanent home is preferable to a same-sex household. To paraphrase her answer, she says yes. I assume that’s because she believes that the “immoral” influence does more damage than the lack of a stable home. Again, while I think this is a fairly ludicrous way of thinking, I don’t fault her for her beliefs.
It’s at Kati’s lunch with a pair of lesbian parents and their daughter that she first shows her ignorance. First of all, Kati is under the impression that being gay is a choice. I know that there are probably people reading this review who agree with her, but you are wrong. Being gay is no more a choice than being black, Jewish or female. The only choice homosexuals have is whether or not to lie to themselves and/or their loved ones about who they are. Let me reiterate, in case I am being unclear, if you believe that homosexuality is a choice, you are free to believe that, but you are wrong.
The best part of the conversation comes when the daughter of the lesbian couple shows Kati the flaw in her logic. She explains that her Mom grew up in a Catholic family with two different sex parents and she ended up being gay. So how does it make sense that a same-sex household can make you more inclined to be a homosexual? The answer is, it doesn’t and the fact that Kati sits there silently affirms that.
What becomes very clear at this point is that Kati is very controlling. I applaud her for stepping into such an unfamiliar situation. But it’s clear that she needs to learn that there are too many things in the universe that she can not control if she is going to be a happy person and a successful parent.
As always, Spurlock makes an effort to show a reasonable argument against same-sex marriage. Sadly, the effort is a complete failure. The sad story of the woman raised by her single gay father only goes to affirm the fact that no child should be raised by an inappropriate douchebag. Are we to believe that if her father had brought home women and discussed his sexual activities with them in front of his daughter that she would have grown up issue-free?
I was really pleased to see the tension breaker Spurlock included when he took a visit to the sperm bank. Not only did it remind us that having and raising children is a very lucrative business for a lot of people but the conversation he had about sperm donation made me laugh out loud.
The scene around the fire made me really sad. Not just because I felt sorry for Kati but because, as we saw last week with George the hunter, when people are being attacked, they will never concede to another point of view. Josh’s relatives (The Pancakes?) stood there with their arms crossed and made accusations when they should have been trying to build some understanding on both parts. What gets me is that this family that has admittedly failed at raising their own son has the nerve to tell Kati what’s best for kids. I hope those smores covered up the taste of irony in their mouths.
At the end of the thirty days, it was clear that there would be no happy ending and yet, this episode was my favorite of all three seasons. I really liked the point Kati made about how everyone in America should be able to respect each other while expressing their individual beliefs. The best part was how Kati was able to see the value in really examining how people with opposing viewpoints live. Even though she won’t change her beliefs, at least she won’t be talking “through her hat” anymore. How great would it be if we could all do that?
Helen Hunt Biography
A pretty, effervescent blonde player, Helen Hunt is the daughter of acting coach and director Gordon Hunt. Born in Culver City, CA, she moved with her family to NYC for six years where she was exposed to theater. When her family returned to L.A., Hunt had decided she wanted to be an actress. Her first job was in the TV-movie “Pioneer Woman” (ABC, 1973), as the daughter of Joanna Pettet. Hunt landed her first spot as a series regular playing the daughter of a policewoman (Jessica Walter) on “Amy Prentiss” (NBC, 1974-75). She continued playing daughters (”Swiss Family Robinson”, ABC 1975-76; “It Takes Two” ABC, 1982-83) or girls-next-door (”The Fitzpatricks”, CBS 1977-78) in series TV, guest appearances (”Family”) and TV-movies (”Angel Dusted”, NBC 1981). Her lead performance in the CBS TV-movie “Quarterback Princess” (1983) earned her praise. One of Hunt’s first adult roles was as the girlfriend of Dr. Jack Morrison (David Morse) on the acclaimed NBC drama series “St. Elsewhere”. She played the title role in “Murder in New Hampshire: The Pamela Smart Story” (1991) about a school teacher arrested along with her 16-year-old lover for the murder of her husband. Hunt received some of her best notices to date (as well as several awards including two Emmys) as Jamie Buchman in the weekly comedy series “Mad About You” (NBC, 1992-99), co-starring with Paul Reiser as a couple facing the ups and downs of marriage.
On stage, Hunt appeared off-Broadway with Mary Stuart Masterson in “Been Taken” (1985) and co-starred opposite first Eric Stoltz and later Jason Gedrick on Broadway as Emily Webb in a revival of Thornton Wilder’s “Our Town” (1989). She has appeared in Los Angeles-area productions of “Vital Signs”, “Alice in Wonderland” and “The Value of Names”.
On the big screen, Hunt made her debut in “Rollercoaster” (1977), played Sarah Jessica Parker’s goofy friend in “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” (1985) and Kathleen Turner’s teenaged daughter in Francis Ford Coppola’s “Peggy Sue Got Married” (1986). She brought spunk to her role as an animal trainer in “Project X” (1987), was wasted as Patrick Swayze’s wife in “Next of Kin” (1989) and delivered a delicately nuanced, richly observed portrayal of a married editor of a writer crippled in a climbing accident who becomes romantically involved with him in Neil Jimenez’s “The Waterdance” (1992). In 1992, her “Quarterback Princess” co-star Tim Robbins directed her in a cameo in his political satire “Bob Roberts” and she won praise as a smart-mouthed young agent of Buddy Young Jr (Billy Crystal) in “Mr. Saturday Night” (1992). After a turn as David Caruso’s wife in Barbet Schroeder’s “Kiss of Death” (1995), Hunt had her biggest screen hit with Jan De Bont’s “Twister” (1996). Hunt looked great in a tank top but also brought a strong presence and believable intelligence to her role as a scientist tracking tornadoes with her estranged husband (Bill Paxton). She earned glowing reviews and netted a Best Actress Oscar for her turn as a single mother and waitress who becomes involved with Jack Nicholson’s curmudgeon in “As Good As It Gets” (1997). On the strength of this performance, Hunt was cast as the leading lady in a slew of movies in 2000, playing opposite Kevin Spacey, Richard Gere, Mel Gibson and Tom Hanks. In 2001, she starred opposited Woody Allen in “Curse of the Jade Scorpion,” and in 2002 was busy developing several projects under her Hunt/Tavel Productions company, these with Hunt in a leading, rather than romantic supporting role.
- Also Credited As:
Helen Elizabeth Hunt - Born:
on 06/15/1963 in Culver City, California - Job Titles:
Actor, Director
Family
- Daughter: Makena lei Gordon Carnahan. born May 13, 2004; father is writer-producer Matthew Carnahan
- Father: Gordon Hunt. directed award-winning episode of “Mad About You”; divorced Hunt’s mother in 1981
- Grandmother: Dorothy Fries.
- Mother: Jane Hunt. divorced Hunt’s father in 1981
- Uncle: Peter Hunt.
Significant Others
- Husband: Hank Azaria. became engaged in 1997; married on July 17, 1999; separated c. May 2000; Hunt filed for divorce on December 18, 2000
- Companion: Matthew Broderick. born March 21, 1962; acted with Hunt in “Project X” (1987); no longer together
- Companion: Matthew Carnahan.
Education
- University of California at Los Angeles, Los Angeles, California
Milestones
- 1966 Lived in New York with her family
- 1973 Made TV debut in the ABC movie “Pioneer Woman”
- 1977 Made feature debut in “Rollercoaster”
- 1982 Played recurring role of Dr Jack Morrison’s girlfriend on the NBC medical series “St. Elsewhere”
- 1989 Made Broadway debut replacing Penelope Ann Miller as Emily Webb in a revival of Thornton Wilder’s “Our Town”
- 1996 Co-starred with Bill Paxton in Jan De Bont’s blockbuster “Twister”
- 1997 Had strong leading role in the comedy-drama “As Good As It Gets”; received Academy Award as Best Actress
- 1998 Made TV directorial debut with episodes of “Mad About You”
- 2000 Acted in Robert Altman’s “Dr. T and the Women”
- 2000 Co-starred opposite Tom Hanks in “Castaway”
- 2000 Had leading role opposite Mel Gibson in “What Women Want”
- 2000 Starred opposite Kevin Spacey in “Pay It Forward”
- 2001 Had leading role in Woody Allen’s “The Curse of the Jade Scorpion”
- 2005 Co-starred with Ed Harris and Philip Seymour Hoffman in “Empire Falls” a miniseries on HBO
- Cast as the next door neighbor on “The Fitzpatricks” (CBS)
- Cast member of the series “Swiss Family Robinson”
- Co-starred on the relationship sitcom, “Mad About You”; made a producer during the 1996-1997 season
- Co-starred with Patty Duke, Richard Crenna and Anthony Edwards in the ABC sitcom “It Takes Two”
- Debut as a TV series regular as title character’s daughter on NBC police drama “Amy Prentiss”
- Makes her directorial debut in the upcoming drama “Then She Found Me,” a drama adapted from Elinor Lipman’s novel of the same name (lensed 2005)
- Moved to NYC
- Returned to L.A.
- Signed on to star in Emilio Estevez’s ensemble project “Bobby,” which will blend fact and fiction around the night in 1968 when Senator Kennedy was shot (lensed 2006)