Dannielynn Daddy’s New Bluegrass State Digs
Don’t line up the moving vans just yet. Larry Birkhead is not pulling out of town with daughter Dannielynn (as People online seemed to suggest).
The former partner of Anna Nicole Smith did just buy a new six-bedroom shack in his Louisville hometown, but Birkhead tells news hound Jason Kennedy that hitting the road for blue-greener pastures is down the road a ways, at best:
“I bought a house, but I am not moving right this day to Kentucky. Maybe one day Dannielynn will go to school and we might live there, but right now I am still looking at job opportunities that have been presented to me here in Los Angeles.”
We get the impression Larry’s a good daddy and wish him and his family all the best.
But job opportunities? Remind us again what this guy does. We know he was a photojournalist who hung around with celebrities and went to parties. And we think he was on MADtv once. We also heard that he was up for a slot on Celebrity Circus, although we’re not hearing so much about that anymore.
Yeah, we’re sure those offers are just pouring in. Look for Larry soon on Dancing With the Vaguely Famous. We’re not saying he’s gonna be on, mind you, but look for him.
Tia Carrere Gives Birth to Baby Girl
Actress Tia Carrere has given birth to her first child, a baby girl, PEOPLE has learned.
Daughter Bianca was born in Los Angeles in September, her publicist announced this week. Carrere, 38, is married to British photojournalist Simon Wakelin. The couple, who met in London, were married on New Year’s Eve 2003.
This is Carrere’s second marriage: Her first, to Hollywood producer Elie Samaha, ended in February 2000 after seven years.
The actress-singer, a native of Hawaii, provided the voice of Nani in the Lilo & Stitch animated films and also has starred in Wayne’s World, True Lies, and 1986’s Zombie Nightmare.
Even more spinoffs I would like to see
When one of our favorite TV shows goes off the air, it can be devastating. However, many times, the cancellation is the birth of a spinoff. Sometimes it can be a great thing (Frasier) and sometimes not so much (AfterM*A*S*H).
Here are some of this month’s spinoff ideas that I would love to see.
Mr. Hawkins Goes to Texas
After the conspiracy of the Cheyenne government was revealed on Jericho, Robert Hawkins (Lennie James) thought the hard part was behind him. He had no idea what was in store. As America tries to form a new governing body, they are desperate for honest men to help lead the way. With help from Mimi Clark (Alicia Coppolla), his personal assistant, Hawkins fights government bureaucracy with the same zeal that he fought domestic terrorism.
I Married a Demon
Remember when Xander (Nicholas Brendon) and Anya (Emma Caulfield) almost got married on Buffy? Well, at some point Xander begged Anya for a second chance and she decided to take him back. What better way to make him pay for leaving her at the altar? It’s been five years since they tied the knot and with two mortgages, three half demon children and constant building deadlines, Xander has never been more miserable. Even the hours he spends drinking with his best friend and former evil nerd, Andrew (Tom Lenk) can’t make life married to a former vengeance demon bearable.
DiMauro Under Fire
When Blush magazine went belly up, shutterbug Eliot DiMauro (Enrico Colantoni) decided to use his photography skills help the world. Traveling the globe, Eliot now takes snapshots of people and places that are the envy of every photojournalist. Along the way, each new assignment brings him face to face with danger.
Christopher’s Crusade
During his life Christopher Moltisanti (Michael Imperioli) did plenty of things he was ashamed of and when he reached the gates of heaven, he had plenty to answer for. Fortunately, the powers that be have decided to give him a chance to redeem himself. Now he’s back among the living, helping people make the right decisions lest they head down the path that brought him to his fate. His only earthly contact, Father Phil Intintola (Paul Schulze) does his best to guide Christopher on his journey but ultimately Chrissy must make his own decisions in order to enter the kingdom.
The Taylor Brothers
After growing up in the same house as Tim “the Tool Man” Taylor, you’d think his sons would have learned a thing or two about home repair. Well, you’d be wrong. After being reunited by the funeral of their parents, Brad, Randy and Mark Taylor (Zachary Ty Bryan, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Taran Noah Smith) decide to honor the memory of their father by opening up a home renovation business with their inheritance. Sadly, their interest in remodeling takes a backseat to their love of girls, sports and controlled substances. Lucky for them, they have the sage advice of their partner Wilson Wilson III (Brian Bonsall) to help them turn a profit.
As a post script, I am honored that MSNBC was so inspired by my numerous spinoff posts to do their own version. Maybe someday they’ll actually give me credit.
Capcom Plans More Crappy Video Game Movie Adaptations
Japanese-based video game developer/publisher Capcom has revealed it plans to make a new batch of horrible video game movie adaptations. Capcom president Haruhiro Tsujimoto says he hopes his company will revitalize video game movies just as Marvel has revitalized comic book movies.
“We are in the process of working out contracts for several offers we received at the Cannes Film Festival last week and hope to make an announcement soon,” Tsujimoto told Bloomberg. “If realised, the projects will have a big impact on the game and movie industries.”
Previous Capcom game to movie releases include the Resident Evil Series, Street Fighter, the 1994 Street Fighter movie, and the prequel/reboot Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li, which is currently in production at Fox. Lets take a look at a few potential franchise titles that Capcom might be looking to bring to the big screen:
Devil May Cry: A movie adaptation of optioned by GAGA Communications in December 2006, but that option may have run out. The story follows Dante, a mercenary dedicated to exterminating demons, a group which was responsible for the death of his mother and corrupting his brother.
More Street Fighter Spin-Offs: Please lets hope not!
Ghouls ‘n Ghosts: The story of the original game followed a knight named Arthur who had defeat a number of undead and demonic creatures in his quest to restore souls stolen by Lucifer. One of the souls is of his bride, Princess Prin Prin. As Arthur advanced through a series of eerie levels, he picked up a variety of weapons and armor to help him in his quest.
Bionic Commando: Essentially if GI Joe were just about a single soldier. The story follows a super soldier equipped with a bionic arm featuring a grappling gun.
Another Resident Evil Movie: I’m sure Paul W.S. Anderson is waiting for the phone call.
Dead Rising: Essentially a 80% rip-off of Dawn of the Dead. A photojournalist named Frank West ends up trapped in a shopping mall infested with zombies.
Steel Battalion: With the success of Transformers, could Hollywood be interested in a Mech movie? Players controlled bipedal walking weapons platforms called vertical tanks (or VTs) in combat, assault, support, and scout missions.
Mega Man: Mega Man has appeared in over 100 games over the past two decades, and is responsible for more sales revenue than both of Capcom’s next leading franchises (Street Fighter and Resident Evil) combined. Set in the year 200X, master designer Dr. Thomas Light worked to create a humanoid robot who could demonstrate an advanced artificial intelligence program that would allow it to make decisions based on vague commands and directions. With the success of these two test-type robots, Light designed and built six production-type robots. Dr. Albert W. Wily, a colleague at that time and future rival, stole the robots and seized control of the city. Dr. Light converted his current lab assistant into a fighting robot named Mega Man. This story probably has the most potential as a big screen story, but more likely in the computer animated realm.